The Inner Saboteur

Each week we have a different area to explore in our Keto Group. This week we are supposed to be aware of ‘daily self-talk’, you know that little voice that we hear in our heads? I like to call mine my ‘Inner Saboteur’.

Let’s call her ‘Miss S’ so that I do not have to keep trying to remember how to spell ‘Saboteur’. Miss S is usually not a very kind person, she whispers in my ear that I am ‘not going to succeed’, that ‘no one likes me’, that ‘I am an imposter’, that ‘I am not enough’. With my Keto journey Miss S tells me ‘oh treat yourself, 1 chip will not make a difference’, ‘eating late at night will not be a problem’, ‘it is too windy to swim’, ‘I am tired’, ‘I want pizza’, ‘these silly exercises are a waste of time’, and all manner of self destructive things.

The same as I am determined to succeed in my weight loss, I intend to work on flipping that script and shutting down any negativity Miss S spouts in my ear. I will acknowledge her point of view, but then I will consciously rebut her and try to be positive in my rebuttal. If she tells me I cannot do something then I will do it to prove her wrong and hopefully if I do that enough she will start to recognise my hard work and not be such a beatch. I do not think that I have developed super powers and can do anything, but I do know that I can do most things I put my mind to (as can anyone).

As is often the case, when I start to focus on healing I receive a message of confirmation that I am on the right path.

I am listening Great Spirit! (and STFU Miss S)

Last weekend was very hot and my sexy pool boy (aka Norm) serviced the pool and gave it a good clean.

I was happy to get into a sparkling pool on Sunday. I tried on one of my new swimsuits that looked horrid when they were delivered and it fit perfectly and was quite comfy. My boobs still look weird because of the odd design of the costume but at least it gives me another option for swimming.

We had a take-away that night from Massimo’s. I had a tapas portion of baby squid, and a Caprese salad which comes with a lovely half an avocado (I have it without the basil oil). Norm and I also shared a Torina salad, it contains greens, olives, seeds, feta and a few different roast vegetables.

It was delicious and other than the breading on the baby squids it was relatively low carb. Miss S just said ‘at least you did not have chips or pasta’. Sometimes she is nice. Maybe she just craved some squidlettes.

On Monday I swam again and I persuaded Norm to do a little grocery shop. I was craving a comforting meal of sausage and mash and he scored some free-range chicken and cheese chipolatas on special. I boiled some sweet potatoes and made a buttery mash and fried mushrooms in butter then added a bit of stock and some cream (but did not add flour) and let it simmer gently until it was nice and thick. I also fried some cabbage in butter. It was just what I fancied.

It put me over my carb allowance for the day but not by too much. I should have done a caulimash and saved some points but hey ho. (Shush Miss S!)

I made a pseudo lasagna on Tuesday night. I basically made my normal lasagna without the pasta sheets. I added mushrooms to the sauce to give it a bit more structure and layered my sauce alternately with ricotta cheese and mozzarella and then baked it until golden. It was so delicious and there was enough for dinner on Wednesday too.

Wednesday the heavy humidity finally generated some rain. We definitely need all the rain the sky and cloud spirits are willing to give us. I hoped the rain would result in a break from the overpowering heat but it did not seem to make any difference at all.

Norm took Finn to the beach for puppy class despite the grey skies and drizzly rain. He and his pal Maisie chased each other around for ages, living their best life and treating a piece of kelp as if it was the best prize in the world.

That evening after work Norm, my neighbour Kate and I took her dogs Jock and Biggy and our Finn for a long walk in the forest along the Klaasenbosch Greenbelt. We have the most amazing walks all around us.

When we got home my replaced hip was so sore that I could barely get out of the car but I was really proud of myself for finishing the 2k walk. Miss S kept whispering ‘you cannot do it’, ‘you are so fat’, ‘you are so sweaty’, ‘you should just give up’, ‘those 80 year old women just passed you’ (that part is true) but I kept telling myself I CAN do it and I did!

Finn and Biggy had a blast running off lead, splashing through the streams and chasing the random squirrel. They were very well behaved and came when we called them and they were friendly to every dog that they encountered. It was lovely to see their smiling faces oozing pure happiness. Their filthy coats were not so lovely but we gave him a wash when we got home and all was fine.

Finn is such a funny dog. His new trick is hiding under our bed when it is time for sleep to avoid going into his crate. We were so tired the first night he pulled this stunt that we just left him and I woke to giant paws in my back as he had snuck up onto the bed in the middle of the night and squeezed himself in between Norm and I. Now it is a battle of wills to get him out from under the bed every night. He is quite happy in his crate and used to trot into there when we said ‘bedtime’ all on his own. But he has a wicked sense of humour and loves to tease both us and the other pets and he thinks it is a game he and daddy play. Daddy is not so amused.

On Thursday night after work I swam in the hopes it helped with my muscle tightness from the walk and it really did. I had sushi and again avoided rice in my order. #Winning

Friday we noticed that the water in the taps was very low in pressure. We then saw that our whole neighbourhood was having issues again and that the workers from the City were at the top of the road working on repairing it. We had no notifications from the City however. Norm went up to speak to the workmen who refused to give him an estimate on resolution and then they just buggered off home for the night.

We had another take out, this time from Casareccio. I ordered the grilled calamari with vegetables and Norm had the Trinchado with chips. I had a bit of his steak and he had a bit of my calamari and I had 2 chips but did not allow myself to go overboard. To be fair my veggies tasted better!

Today is very hot, it is supposed to get up to 29 degrees C (about 85F in Yank weather). Before you say ‘oh that is not so hot’ remember we have no air conditioning in most homes and we now have no water. We had to flush the loo with pool water. Thank goodness we can have a dip to ‘clean off’ and cool down a bit. Norm went off to forage some water for us from a city stand pipe. Luckily we bought loads of water containers during the drought and they can be put to use.

This week we started watching ‘Inventing Anna‘ on Netflix. It stars Julia Garner as Anna Sorokin, the title character. You may recognise Julia from Ozark where she has ‘garnered’ (sorry) many awards for her acting skills. The real life Anna Sorokin pretended to be a wealthy German heiress under the name Anna Delvey and she managed to bamboozle many people.

It is amazing just how MANY people she took advantage of and how they could not see through it. She was also friends with other con artists.

For example, her lover in the series is called ‘Chase Sikorski’ and was scamming people to invest on an app called ‘Wake’ that captures and crowdsources data from people’s dreams. That was all BS and he legged it to the Middle East when he spent all of the funds. The real name of her fella is allegedly Hunter Lee Soik who had an idea for a dream database app called Shadow that also never materialised.

At one point in the series Anna was sleeping on the couch of Billy McFarland, the man behind the infamous Fyre Festival. Maybe the two pals swapped tips on scamming skills? I wonder which one made the most cash?

I give this series 5 Kitten Stars, I am really enjoying it. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ No spoilers as I have 2 eps left to watch and yes, I know it is based on a true story but I am deliberately not googling anything about the real Anna or her story yet.

Today Norm is off to puppy class and I am going to go for a swim soon as it is so hot. I hope you all have a lovely weekend and week ahead. Stay safe until next time.

Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxo

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