Last weekend I was so grateful for some sunshine! After a solid week of rain and cold I was getting a bit of cabin fever. I spent all of last Saturday and Sunday sitting in the garden watching my birds and pondering life. I had such a deep feeling of contentment and happiness and I could almost feel my soul warming from the rays of the sun, rejoicing in the songs of the birds and the greenery all around me. The next day I logged on and the first thing I saw was this image being posted by Grandmother Robin.
Then I saw a post from Joseph White Eagle saying “The Prophecy of the seventh generation and eighth fire is not about activism, nor is it trying to fight the system, It is a spiritual movement of planting seeds and awakening the consciousness of Mother Earth’s unconditional love in all people’s hearts.”
Both posts resonated so strongly with me. So maybe I am healing from my traumas and awakening my consciousness?
I often think I am a completely different person than the one who went through the traumas of my past. That trauma is what has made me argumentative and bolshy and always willing to stand my ground. The perpetrators of that trauma wanted to break me, to damage me beyond repair. However, eventually it did the opposite. It took a long time but eventually it created this new me.
Now I feel that I can lay down my weapons and open up my defenses. Whatever the source of this feeling of great contentment and happiness is, let it continue to well forth and fill my heart and feed my soul.
However I am the sort who struggles to just lean into feelings of happiness and contentment. I always feel panicky that something will go wrong and derail whatever good things are happening. You know that feeling of impending disaster, the proverbial piano hanging over your head?
This week I had my annual review at work and I have been given a decent increase this year. Great!! But it makes me anxious. Why you ask? I wish I knew! The client has been recognising my contributions and asking me to step up to help her in some areas. I sat in on an interview for a new Data Architect this week. I always find it interesting interviewing highly technical people with master’s degrees, that triggers my imposter syndrome. But the client said that she loves my ‘passion’ about best practice which means yes I am a pain in the arse but it is because I strive for perfection. I am OK with that!
I am able to switch off some things. For example, my house is a tip. It always is. I can sit outside quite happily ignoring house work or other real obligations. Do I feel guilt that I am ignoring these tasks? Nope not an iota.
However my mind is always plotting and planning. I decided that the area under our pepper tree would be perfect for some of the Strelitzia Reginae (a.k.a. Bird of Paradise or the Crane Flower) that are growing near the pool. The strelitzias have been there for years and have now split into multiple different plants at the root systems so they should be relatively easy to move.
Bird of Paradise prefer acidic soil and partial shade so this spot is perfect because the pepper tree makes the soil very acidic and it’s size makes it very shady. The clivias you can see on the right side of the bed have orange flowers too so if I can fill the left side of the bed with a mix of the two plants it should be lovely. I have a promise of some more clivias from a friend. This section may be my next project!
Norm and Mzudumo have been working hard at the back garden and it is really coming on. Today there are some of Mzudumo’s friends here helping them. I should be able to start planting in the succulent garden tomorrow and I am so excited to get it going.
We have been trying to follow the suggestions from the dog behaviourist and so far so good. Finn is still living his best life and loving his comforts.
He went to the doggy play park on Tuesday and met a little Pixie Lookalike. He was very confused, she looks like Pixie and she acts like Pixie but she does not smell like Pixie!
Panda baby had to go back to the vet yesterday as he was coughing a lot. The vet said his trachea was in spasms (he has a collapsed trachea on top of his chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and gave him a muscle relaxant of some sort and he was high as a kite when he came home. He slept all evening and today was vastly hung over and ravenous.
Lola went to the specialist vet and had the sun damage treated on her lil pink nose. She now has terrible looking scabs which is as per expected but it must be a bit sore. Of course it does not impede her and Blue fighting over boxes and cushions.
I have been cooking this week as Norm did a shop. Vanessa came to do my pedi on Tuesday and as we finished late I needed something quick. Norm had bought a gorgeous piece of yellowtail (fish) and I had never cooked it before but the instructions said it could be air fried so I gave it a shot and it was perfection! While it was in the fryer I sautéed some baby asparagus spears in lemon, garlic and butter. I made a simple salad of avocado, cucumbers and baby tomatoes. I added some avocado oil, lemon and balsamic vinegar as a dressing and we were ready to eat quick sticks!
On Wednesday I had mince and decided to just keep it simple and make some spicy Mexican flavoured beef with an added tin of kidney beans. I know the beans are not low carb, but as I am doing intermittent fasting (i.e. this is my ONLY meal of the day) then it should be fine. I made home made guacamole but used the ready made salsa. I made a big salad and added the meat and beans then covered it in cheese and toppings.
Thursday night I had chicken breasts to cook and I attempted to apply the method that worked so well last time, except I could not remember how long to cook them for. I used a spicy peri-peri rub on mine to give it a bit of a kick. I fried mushrooms and cabbage and steamed some cauliflower. I wanted to avoid flour in my sauce so I mixed up double cream, single cream and added grated pecorino and cheddar cheeses and poured it over and hoped for the best. It was actually good but I should have added a thick layer of cheese to get a nice browned top. I started eating the chicken breast from the ‘pointy’ end and midway in it looked a bit pink. I am so overly paranoid about food poisoning and that was it, I could not finish my food. Norm really enjoyed his meal, his chicken was in the pan longer as he was faffing around so luckily he is still alive.
My Friday weigh in made me very happy as I finally topped that 50 pound weight loss goal! I have been hovering around it for weeks and finally it happened. That makes me so proud of the work I have put in. I must just keep my eye on the goal of continued success. Slow and steady now that the bulk of the weight is off, it will slow down a bit now. I will be glad for the warm weather to return so that I can start swimming again.
Today was supposed to be my Women’s Soul Circle meeting but it was moved to next month. I got up early and went to take back the 3 chair cushions that they delivered (which was half of the order).
I am going to potter about in the garden while Norm and the boys work in the back, the sun is out but it is a bit chilly. I hope you enjoy your day and the rest of your weekend.
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten x0x0x0x0x0x0
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