Do you ever have one of those days that just feels blissfully perfect from start to end? I did last Saturday. First of all the weather was clear so I could pray to the 7 Directions outside on my hill when I woke up.
Then I attended our women’s group from 9:00 until 12:30 and I got my soul refilled and my energy refreshed by beautiful feminine energy. I wrote about that last week if you missed it.
Then I sat in my garden in the sun, watching the birds for hours. I am happiest when the feeders are full and I get all sorts of birds visiting.
It was just such a gorgeous day and not too hot to sit outside as it usually is in the summer.
The animals made me laugh with their dramatics.
Norm helped me put my little concrete owls out into the garden. They are right in my vision when I watch the real birds and these little imposters make me smile.
I also put out my concrete birds in my peace garden.
I planted the fairy houses I bought and pinched some clippings from all over my house and garden to go in them.
Norm took Finn’s cone of shame off to walk him that afternoon and Finn was full of the love of life with it off. He makes us laugh so with his silly nonsense.
Then as I had stayed dressed since that morning, I decided to not waste outside clothes and makeup and persuaded Norm to take me for Japanese food at Izakaya Kúkai, our tiny little spot of perfection in Hout Bay owned by amazing Sushi Master Arata Koga.
First we were seated at the table which is half under the book shelf so your shoulder ends up half under the shelf and the waitress is always collecting things on top of your head. I do not like this table but it was the only one available for a party of two when we arrived. With such tight seating they keep the big tables for parties of 3 and up and we had not booked ahead.
Norm tried to grin and bear it but he also does not like the close shelf. We ordered a bottle of water and some starters to share.
First we shared the tempura prawns which were so hot and gorgeously plump and fresh.
After we had the tempura prawns we were able to move to another table in the restaurant which was much more spacious and pleasant.
Then we shared the gyoza pan fried prawn and pork dumplings. The flavours of the filling are divine and the pastry is paper thin but still manages to stay intact when you bite them.
Next we shared the Crispy Bang Bang Prawns which contain plump prawns, tender ripe avocado and thin slivers of jalapeño. Again the prawns were very fresh and the pastry was light and crispy. Gorgeous!
We then each chose a main course for ourselves. Norm had the chicken teriyaki miso ramen. He was face down into this bowl like a rabid beast. He loved it.
The Ramen always looks so appetizing but I would end up wearing it. That dish is far too messy for Miss Clumsy. Instead I ordered the chicken soba noodle stir fry. It was simple and tasty and I did not make any mess at all! It also did not have many things I had to pick out so perfect for fussy eaters (unless they do not like onion – side eyes at my daughter and SIL).
I love that we can pop in to this little venue wearing whatever we feel like, get fed amazing food and get home quickly. Just what us pensioners need! *wink* It was 5 Stars.
We came home and chilled out watching CSI and snuggling with the cats and dogs in front of the fire.
It really was just a perfect, simple day. It made me so grateful and happy and content with the life I have built.
I also had another new AuDHD word discovery this week. The word is ‘Alexithymia’ and this word has came at me multiple times in rapid succession which to me always means I need to notice it. The first time I became aware was when Diversity Doodles posted this image on their page.
I love their drawings and they always have such clever messages. I suggest giving them a follow if you are on Facebook! They also have very cute mugs with clever messages about Neurodiversity on their Etsy page.
Alexithymia is when a person has difficulty experiencing, identifying, and expressing emotions. It is not a mental health disorder but has links with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and various other conditions and it can also occur with autism. My daughter Caitlin has talked about struggling with this before but I did not note the actual name of it until this week.
Then I spotted the same word being mentioned on neurodivergent_lou’s IG (one of the ND influencers I follow). She mentioned that 50-80% of autistic people suffer from it which is a darned high percentage!
I have real issues regulating my emotions and this hit me hard as I think that this is the root of why I am unable to regulate! I find it almost impossible to discuss how I feel with most people, I think that is because I am so out of touch myself with how I feel! Every time I try to verbally discuss anything I cry. But I do cry very easily. I can discuss things in writing easier, I think that is what draws me to write.
I think this message has arrived as it ties in so well with my upcoming healing session and my desire to do somatic work for healing of the ‘storage’ of these emotions and traumas in my body.
I am out of touch with messages I should hear from my body. When I worked at a client office I would set an alarm to remind me to go to the loo, drink and move every hour or I would get so locked in I might not even notice people leaving at the end of the day and then had to walk to my car in the dusk and sit in loads of traffic escaping the city. I would also be hangry or I would buy a donut or some trash on my way to the car.
I have had issues with food and eating for as long as I can remember. My Dad had issues with food too. By the time I realise I need food, I am so hungry I eat whatever is easily consumed, regardless of the nutritional value or calories, it is about how quickly I can get it in my mouth. I could live off of plain salted crackers or biscuits just because they are easily consumed and they are crunchy (crunchy is my jam, not crunchy jam because that would be weird). However, I also have the ability to survive on very little intake for a long period. I drink coffee until midday when I suddenly realise I am ravenous. I was anorexic at University and would eat so little that I once fainted when walking to a patient’s room. So which came first, the anorexia or the alexithymia or are they just intrinsically linked and bound together like the roots to a tree?
I have a terrible temper. Usually, by the time I blow up I have been dancing on needles for hours, teetering on the verge of losing it and some random little thing might be the final tipping point, then my reaction seems so out of proportion to whatever I am reacting to. It makes me seem so irrational but I have zero control by this point. I need to learn to walk away long before then, go outside, breathe some air, touch some grass, to just take a breath before I react.
To help me with some of these issues I have just signed up for a Healing session which focusses on Generational Trauma. I am now asking in my prayers each morning for the Creator to help me to heal myself or connect me with those that can help me.
I have had some bizarre interactions with a sunbird this weekend. For those outside of South Africa, the closest thing we get to Hummingbirds are Sunbirds (but they are not Hummingbirds).
On Saturday afternoon when I was sitting outside a tiny sunbird landed on the lawn near me. I watched him flit about the grass, possibly looking for insects. I saw him either eat or drink something. He was there for a while then flew away. I had never seen that behaviour before.
On Sunday he did the same thing! Twice he appeared, flitted across the grass, landed on the wild irises nearby and then after a while he flew away.
Later in the afternoon I was sitting on the patio with Lola kitty in my lap and Mr Sunbird kept flying around the Bottlebrush trees opposite me. I said out loud ‘If you are here to just tootle about – stay over there, but if you are here for me, then come closer’. Mr Sunbird flew across the pool and landed on the back of the patio chair opposite me. He then acted like the Sunbird version of Goldilocks and flew to sit on 3 of the 6 chairs around the table. He then flew down onto the ground and hopped over to where Lola and I were sitting and just looked at me.
On Thursday the sunshine disappeared again.
Then again in the middle of the rainy day I looked out and saw the sunbird just sitting on the back of the chair staring inside at me.
I have always had interactions with birds when my Grandmother is communicating with me. I think that was my Grandmother showing her approval that I am asking for healing and actively seeking it out (or in my Grandmother’s words “it’s ’bout damned time”).
Then yesterday in our sound session I was so conscious of the Southern Boubou again making noises outside in the pouring rain!
I had such an interesting conversation with a lovely woman who follows my Kitten in the City page.
It made me think about how we quite often walk the walk before we realise it and even when we do we hesitate to talk the talk. When I was given my Medicine Name I was told to only use it when healing or in ceremony and I have held to that, very few people know my Medicine Name.
I know my own need for healing is standing in the way of my abilities to help others and is dragging me down. I look forward to what results from this Healing session at the end of the month. Then if I still feel I would benefit from a somatic specific session then I shall book one. At least I have a plan to address the issue and for me as a mental obsessive sorta person that is half of the stress reduced just by knowing it has been ‘dealt with’ even if all I have done is move it forward a wee bit, it is ‘In progress’ and that is all I can ask for.
Friday was Women’s Day in South Africa. My friend Louise and I booked to attend the NURTURE Woman only event “a Meditation , Movement & Sound Immersion!”
It was held by Karen Christian and Janet Farquharson from 11h00-15h00 at The Sanctuary, in Constantia. Louise collected me at 10h30 and off we went to nearby Constantia. We discovered when chatting en-route that I had attended events by Karen and loved them and Lou had attended events by Janet which she loved! So we were very excited to see what the day offered when it was a mutual collaboration between them.
This was the published itinerary:
11h00 ~ Arrival & clearing of energy with flame & smoke
11h30 ~ Connect Circle with cards & intentions ~ Warm heart opening cacao
12h00 ~ Chanting mantras to activate our own unique vibration & energize space
12h15 ~ Blindfolded music journey, encompassing breathing, meditation, visualization, movement, loving touch & scents
13h15 ~ Deeply relaxing sound healing journey
14h15 ~ 15h00: Delicious soup & bread & closing Share Circle
We were lucky to arrive when there was no rain as it poured most of the time we were cosy inside. We were instructed to choose a card from the decks laid out on the centre mat. The deck I was drawn to was the Medicine Woman Oracle Discover The Archetypes of The Divine Feminine pack.
The card I drew was ‘Spring’ which was perfect for where I am in my personal journey. I am working towards being authentically me, showing up as honest as I can, no masks, no hiding. For me that is unchartered territory.
We all took turns being smudged by Karen then we went around the circle and introduced ourselves and set our intentions. Then we were all given a little espresso cup of warm Cacao.
We did some chanting and humming to open our throat chakras and to connect us as a circle of women. Then we popped on headphones and Karin took us on a wonderful journey. She just has the most magical voice and it is so soothing. Some of us got up and danced and some did not. We all kept our eyes closed so I have no idea what anyone else was doing. The headphones give you such a sense of isolation in your own little bubble.
Then we did a sound journey with Janet. It was a bit strange because I was consciously trying to identify the sounds, yet I was still relaxed. Focused yet unfocused! It was really strange almost like I was observing it from outside of my body and could ‘see’ Janet circling and using her instruments or spraying scents over us.
Afterwards we all had another circle of sharing our experience of the day. We then all shared vegan soup and gorgeous bread and hummus and then we all toddled off happy and relaxed.
Norm popped out to get us something for dinner that night and built a big fire. I was so relaxed from the day I was probably asleep on the sofa by 9pm. Norm finally managed to rouse me from my slumber to go upstairs to bed. I went right back to sleep and slept until 7am. I feel so refreshed this morning.
I was thinking this week about love and how it is shown in the every day things you do for each other. For example, Norman making me soup and toast when he knows I am cold and forgot to eat breakfast, or buying Oreos because I am an Oreo addict. Building a fire for me even though he is tired (he is a proper Scots and seldom feels the cold). Or him rewinding a show we are watching for ages because I missed something irrelevant to most people, but important to me. Even in the things which are massive to me but minor to him such as cleaning cat barf off of my favourite boots (and not complaining that there were 3 pairs of boots in the lounge that I had kicked off and not put away). He shows me in such lovely ways. I am a lucky, lucky kitten. I know I am loved unconditionally and that is so rare.
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxox
Kitten in the City 
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