What a hectic chaotic week!
I mentioned last week that I had a Shaman class in Scarborough on Sunday, but there were a few sick members and I thought we agreed to do it via Zoom for those who did not want to come in for whatever reason so I chose to zoom to save the 2 hours of travel there and back. Also, I woke up stiff and broken from the 3 hours of yoga the day before and the thought of sitting on a wooden floor for 3 hours was not making me feel very happy.
It was only when I asked for the zoom link that we then realised the group was confused about what was on offer for the day. It was too late for me to readjust my mind to drive. If I am to drive I have to mentally prepare myself and psych myself up because driving is a major anxiety for me and that is a very long drive.
The result of the confusion was that I missed another face to face session with the other women. The community of the group is one of the main reasons I joined so I was really upset as I will also be missing next month’s face-to-face because I am in George.
I completely lost my cool and I went a bit crazy. I felt like I was going to be sick. It was a complete over reaction to what had occurred, so I needed to understand what that reaction was actually related to, because it was not about that day. I realised that I had obviously worked on opening up those meridians the previous day and it seemed to have flooded me with an over-abundance of emotional turmoil!
It brought up when I was a child and my aunt used to say she was coming to take her son and I out somewhere special and then not show up on the day. We would spend all week planning what we were going to do and would ramp up so much excitement only to sit dressed on the steps waiting in vain. This was in the days when there were no mobile phones so you just had a house phone to ring and that was that. If someone was ‘in the wind’ then you had no way to contact them. I used to get upset but was not really allowed to show it because it was my cousin’s mom, not mine, and I ‘had’ a family and should not be so selfish. I did feel so bad for him too.
All of that disappointment was bundled up and stuffed down and ignored and when it was ‘triggered’ it rose to the surface and exploded. I went into a full blown panic attack. Norm bundled me up and put me on the couch with a drink and my books. He built a big fire and the animals all seemed to feel my distress and came to comfort me. Writing also always calms me down.
Once I calmed down we decided to watch a film and randomly selected what was number 1 that day on Netflix in South Africa. It is called The Honeymoon. It was dreadful and just what I needed. Mindlessness.
I opened up the book “Women Who Run With Wolves” to a random page and it was about Rage. A coincidence? Of course not. I read various bits around anger and rage I re-read the chapters we had been assigned to read for the previous day’s workshop. By late afternoon I was calm again.
We had organised a family call for my Mother’s 82nd birthday that night. All 3 of my kids, Norm, myself and my Mom were on the call but I was not allowed to snap any pics because Mom was just awake and had not done her hair. But we laughed so much for the entire time and we talked for ages. Norm popped out, got pizza for us, came home, we ate and continued talking. It was lovely to see all my gorgeous progeny and to see my Mom in great form.
I had a hair appointment at Pause Salon in town on Wednesday. Norm could see I was getting anxious and offered to drive me in. There was a café located directly across the street from the hair salon so it worked out perfectly. He could work away on his laptop and I could not freak out about having to drive and park in the city. It had been six month since my last trim and I did not cut off lots just asked for a trim of dead ends and it looks much healthier.
On Wednesday when Norm was out walking Finn, Panda came running into the lounge and dashed past my desk, shaking his head fiercely and sneezing or wheezing. We are used to his coughing from his collapsed trachea, but this seemed like his face was hurting or itching as he kept rubbing it on everything. He was literally flinging himself face first onto everything. I picked him up and thought that might be the end. I phoned Norm who ran home, dragging Finn reluctantly along behind him.
By the time Norm made it home, Panda was just lightly coughing and was slowly calming down. Meanwhile Norm and I had a heart rate suitable for a stroke! That dog has had so many lives, he is such a wee soldier.
On Thursday evening we had our monthly Zoom meeting for our Shaman group so we all got to catch up with each other.
Yesterday Norm brought home these little shelves for me from the second hand shop. He knows I love metal plant stands and this one has a bird on it! He took it to the township and had a guy weld some broken bits, Norm will sand it down and spray it with the rust proof paint and then I will find a place to put them. He is so sweet.
Today the weather has amazing, sunny, with no wind and cloudless blue skies.
We had our women’s Soul Circle this morning and Tam kindly give me a lift there. It was held in a different venue because our usual venue was flooded from the rains. We have also gained a lot of new women to the group recently and we needed a bigger venue. It was still in Hout Bay, it was at Sky Above Yoga Studio which is so magical and full of interesting art and beautiful plants. I adore this totem and would love one! That is my first step towards manifesting one.
I had worried our Soul Circle might lose that quaint, intimate vibe we have when there is just a few of us around the fire, as it is easy to manage input and let everyone have a turn and there were a lot more instances of people speaking over other people and less of the ‘talking stick’ approach we usually have but I am sure that will settle down as the group settles down. It had a very warm energy with everyone opening up and realising that most of us are the same, we want similar things and have similar issues. I am sure most of the new women will return, everyone seemed to enjoy it.
Today’s topic was one of my favourites, Manifestation. Regular readers know that I do intention boards of what I want to come to me and that I give gratitude daily for what has already been given to me. I appreciate what I have and the universe gives me more in return.
This week I heard someone say that which is most precious is that which is the hardest to obtain, but as ‘value’ is a concept that ‘we’ create and maintain, obviously someone, somewhere, decided this value!? Why do we as humans want a challenge? Why can we not just sit back and accept when our needs are met and we are happy that we are there, why do we desire more? I’ve written before about the concept that success means he who owns the most toys. Who decides these things? Why are the crystals I collect and love less valuable than a diamond? Why does this job pay more than that job? Why is this item worth more than that item if the cost to create it is similar?
Lily had a scan last week and they told her that little Pickle is still breech. As it is Lily’s first pregnancy the doc does not want to try and turn Pickle as it can cause injury to either Lily or the baby, so he has booked Lily in for a C-section on the 7th of July which is also Lily’s Dad’s birthday. If Pickle decides to turn before then and drop then she may still come naturally, otherwise she will come via C-section on the 7th.
Tomorrow I am flying down to George in the afternoon. I have not booked a return flight, I hope to catch a lift with either Caitlin or Norman, depending on who is leaving the latest in the month as I will stay until Jackie is back home in August. I am so lucky she is loaning me her room and that way Lily has one of us there to help her with Pickle for at least 2 months. If needed I will fly back but I would rather drive. Even as long as the trip is by car, I hate flying.
I can work from there with no issues, I proved that when I was there recently. I will be there to help Lily and look after Pickle. I am just so excited to be a Grandma!
I hope you have a great week ahead, until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxox
Kitten in the City 