I once asked a teacher ‘what is trauma? at what level of pain do you go to in order to know what is important enough to document?’ We were creating a ‘Descansos’ which I have written many posts about, so you can either do a search for the word in the search field on my page or just click here for the explanation summary post I had made originally.

Mentioning my aunt last week has brought up so many things related to her. She used to set me up with young men. She would give me a pill and tell me to take it, a lad would collect me, the pill would kick in and I would then wake up somewhere. I once woke up in someone’s shower. Luckily it was a couple of gay men’s shower. They found me on the pavement in front of her flats. I was so out of it they thought I was dead, but then I moved, so they threw me into a cold shower to bring me to. Once we got hold of her, she said she gave me quaaludes. She also gave me placidyls (both of these are ‘hypnotic sedatives’). Why would she give me those? Why would I take them?? I was about 16, I liked to get high, and she was my aunt I guess? There were only 2 or so of these types of instances that I can remember and they occurred far apart and I was an autistic trusting eejit.

I was about 14 in the first car accident where I was driving. I was driving my aunt to a bar and she needed to do her makeup so she tossed me the keys. I was not paying attention and hit the back of a car at a traffic light. Turned out that I was paying attention, but not to the car in front but rather to the fella in the car next to me. It was a big drama. We swore to the police that Juanita was driving, not me.

She and one of her husbands (Ray) would have my cousin (her son) and I sleep over & they would wake us while it was still dark. We would go to the newspaper printer & collect the papers literally hot off the press. We delivered to shops not homes (I think…. but my memory is fuzzy). The smell of the ink fumes gave me a headache and made me feel nauseous and to this day the smell of ink triggers me. Around this time frame I remember lots of Pomeranians, not 100% sure but I think she was breeding them. I just remember fleas, lot of fleas.

It is strange the things we remember. However, I have always been someone who thinks about really random things for hours, rumination of sorts. I have written about it before, you can read here.

I was speaking to someone about how we generate our own reality, we can transform our thoughts into reality What we think, becomes how we live. My next manifestation is for Josh to get more billable work into his company enabling him and Lily to buy a house of their own, to be able to put down roots for their little family, decorate with their own things and style. I want this for them as I know Lily wants and needs her own space now that they have 2 babas. So I am manifesting that for this year.

I also want billable work for myself!!

I was focusing on a family holiday house but that can wait. Priorities!

I have booked my next visit down to George to see Lily, Josh, Amelia, Roo and of course Trevor. I go in April and I am staying for a week. Roo will be just over 3 months. I booked via a dodgy website again so let us hope I have a seat. I am such a doofus. I was comparing rates between the 2 airlines and somehow got on this dodgy one.

I spent last weekend enjoying the birds and pottering about with my plants.

I had been fretting over where best to put my solar light from the kids. I had it in a big succulent pot but you could not see the beauty of the light. So I used some zip ties and secured it to this metal stand. This pic was taken just as the sun was going down and the light was fading.

I had 2 red winged starlings which kept flying in to the garden and I thought they were just being friendly and visiting so I was chatting away to them. Turns out they were stealing the fibers from the hanging pots.

A bit later a pair of swee waxbills popped in to have a munch of the seeds in the canoe planter at the back.

It has been windy most of the week. Norm cooked for us one night this week, he sauteed some filet steaks, heated some ready made mash, and I made a very simple salad. The honey mustard dressing was a nice compliment to the steak.

I cooked one night this week too. I fried pork chops, heated some mash and made a salad.

Kim came back on Tuesday (well he never left, rather it is I who has been away) and it was good to see him. He has repaired so many things which have needed fixing for years, you know the niggly things you never sort? He has redone the brick paving at the back, chiseling out and replacing one row of brick paving along the edge which had gone wonky. He fixed the sticky front gate which needed the tiles underneath redone so that it could open properly. He has painted the shed and the inside of the fence wall to match the outside of the house. He fixed the wooden fence, the gate, and put up my hanging pots and trellises.

Kim and I talk a lot and I think it is always interesting for us both to hear each other’s perspectives. Kim talked about the African culture and the expectations your family have toward money and support. He thinks that it is unfair how he is expected to prioritise his siblings over his own children if his siblings are adults capable of supporting themselves. I compared that to restaurants where all of the staff have to split tips evenly regardless of whether they work hard or not. We talk about our families and many things. I often sit and have a coffee while he eats the breakfast I make for him.

Norm and I babysat for Bree on Thursday evening. She has grown so much since I last saw her. She is a very steady walker and can climb onto the furniture. She babbles constantly but it is impossible to understand what she says. She will be whittering on about some nonsense or another and then an actual word shoots out, and she usually shouts the last word. She is such an easy baby. She ate some cheese and sort of poked about in the rest of her food. We had a laugh about Miss Cheese eating cheese. She had her bottle, she danced and played and we kicked a ball for ages. When it was time to read a story she went to choose the one she wanted when she heard us discussing whether I should read to her in her room or in the lounge and sat herself in my lap as if answering for us. She then went off to bed with minimum fuss. She popped her sleep dummy in her mouth, threw her teddys in the corner of the cot, and flopped down on top of them. She just head dives into them, it is hilarious to watch. She then lies half on her stomach and lifts the upper arm in the air and holds it. This is something both my mom and I do too so it was funny to see Bree doing it too.

Yesterday I went with Norm, Poppy, and Finn to the dog park and I walked a few loops around the track and then when the park was empty we let our two loose to chase the ball Norm brought with. They loved it! Poppy loves to play fetch.

Today we have a friend coming to give us advice about the leak in the outside room. Once the leak is resolved we can paint the walls and ceiling and get it set up to be a play room. I want to paint one wall in blackboard paint so the kids can draw and the adults can easily play Pictionary. I want to order some storage of some sort for all of the toys and a rug or play mat, as well as a throw for the couch. We have some old CD racks we are going to nail to the walls for storage of cars and toys in the little slots. We already have the little table and rabbit eared chairs so we can set that up for art projects. I am excited to have a new project! Kim will be employed to do most of the things that need to be done so it is a win-win. My grandbabies will be the beneficiaries of the work.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and week ahead. Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxox