I discovered a tiny little caterpillar who is the culprit eating one of my plants. I picked the entire leaf off and put him with his leaf on the concrete on the other side of the fence by the rubbish bins. I do not want to kill him. Even slugs or snails are still Mother Earth’s creatures, I pray to All My Relations, and that includes pests. What is an Animist to do?
If I find grubs and non-legged things I pop them into the bird feeder and let the circle of life deal with them, obviously this is not possible with a caterpillar as he just moves away from my nonsense. It makes the birds happy and it makes me feel less murdery when the pests are dealt with this way.
I was writing this section on Thursday evening and then yesterday while sitting outside having my coffee and relaxing, a hadeda decided to pop in for a visit and have a little munch of some of the pests in the garden.
I wonder what he thought of the artificial turf? Usually they poke into the grass and aerate the soil but I assume he cannot poke the artificial grass and if he does it is not a good thing?
In the short time I sat outside yesterday I saw Grey Waxbills, White eyes and a pigeon as well as mr hadeda cruising around the fairy garden and picking out little pests from my pot plants and eating them. My manifestations are almost instant sometimes! When I realise that is what is happening my mind is legit boggled. Then I accept that I have this connection with the universe and I express my gratitude.
I so seldom leave my house or speak to other humans, I sometimes forget what is acceptable to say and what is not and I always seem to make things awkward. When I went for my facial last Saturday there was a very elegant lady leaving the spa just as I arrived. I said to my facial technician (or whatever they are called these days, let’s just say E) that the lady could be anywhere from 50 years old to a hundred. I meant she was beautiful and ageless, but when E gasped and said ‘oh shame’ she thought I was being mean. I tried to explain what I meant.
Then when E was putting the various layers of gunk onto my face, I kept blurting out what it reminded me of. So it went – layer one ‘Peaches’, layer two ‘Pine Trees’, layer three ‘Ham cooked in sugar’, that one made her pause. We finally realised it had a wee bit of clove in it and that was triggering the ham association for me (I detest cloves).
The spa plays various playlists of relaxing songs with no vocals, usually only a piano tinkling away. Then when E was massaging some oil into me I had been racking my brain to place the tune and suddenly realised that the piano was playing Backstreet Boys and shouted ‘Bye, Bye, Bye‘ at the appropriate moment in the song, pumping my arm up in the air. She knows I have autism and sometimes behave oddly and if overly stimulated I have to flail about. If she is hurting my top half the bottom half is tap dancing, kicking and jiggling and I never want to be layered in blankets so she sees it all.
The same awkward tongue tied issue keeps happening with trying to source Finn’s elusive new food. The label format of it is bizarre as it seems to emphasize the ‘ANAL’ part of the word and of course that is the only part of the name I can remember.
Every shop I went into I had to have the anal name discussion. I have discovered that a lot of people are very uncomfortable with the word ‘anal’. I’ve finally just given up and will order it via the vets where it is just called ‘Finn’s special food’.
Last Saturday I got home from the spa just after 1pm and Caitlin came to collect me just after 2pm. We headed down to the beach and drove along the beachfront but as it had been such a sunny day the area was very busy. We then decided to rather go to the harbour side of Hout Bay and go to the Lookout Deck for something to eat as I had not had lunch. Caitlin had an order of sushi and I had the peri-peri prawns. Bree had a container of vegetables and meatballs from home.
I did not take any pics the entire day, not of the view or our food or anything because I was visually obsessed with Bree. Caitlin took a few of Bree and I sitting looking out of the window but obviously I cannot post those. Cait did snap one of the view from our window at the table, is it not divine? The top panels of glass were open so it was cool and breezy.
It was such a lovely day! I love just watching little Bree no matter what she is doing, she is always charming. She sat on my lap or stood at the window ledge holding on and peering over until Caitlin wanted to feed her. She was so intrigued by the birds calling out above us and the water moving below us.
Once buckled in her feeding seat, she tilted her head sideways and hurled her entire body over to charm people. She knows her power. Luckily the little minx was buckled in as it terrified me at first. She sat munching away on the food Caitlin brought for her while we ate. She is such a happy little baby always content if she has something interesting to look at or eat! She enjoys looking at patterns, she was busy staring at the wooden slats on the deck as much as the sea view, to her they are equally interesting and worth study. I do not think I have ever had a baby watch me with the intensity that Bree watches me do everything! She watches anyone, she does not miss a move. I love listening to her babbles and shrieks.
Norm returned on Tuesday evening after almost a month away. I think that is the longest we have been apart in our 28 years of marriage. Possibly a similar amount of time during one of his trips to the Olympic Village when he was a coach, I seem to remember he was in Australia for ages. Even when I worked various IT projects in the UK and lived wherever I worked, we tried to not go longer than 2 weeks without seeing each other.
I found myself quite proud that I coped! I stayed on top of the dishes and the laundry (I had never used the washer before this trip), and I kept to the dogs new medical and food routines, making sure I had Finn’s expensive foods & his venison or ostrich sausages in the house as well as thawing & cooking said sausages. I did mundane things like putting out the rubbish bins on Thursday night. I kept the kitchen and scullery clean. I ate at least one proper meal a day (i.e. not just endless snacks), I ate fruit and a vegetable or two. I remembered to order groceries on a regular basis. I know many people think, ‘so what?’, especially working single parents, but to me it was a lot of responsibility and administration and I am proud of achieving it all. Adulting is hard!!!
Norm brought gifts from him and my mom for all of us. He brought cute rubber ducks for Amelia and Bree (he brings them different patterned rubber ducks from his travels) and some fairy garden items for me. This is the most adorable little fairy, I love her red hair. From behind she is flashing her bloomers, she is a naughty minx.
He gave me some starched cloth butterflies which probably cost very little but delight me immeasurably. My favourite gifts are not measured by their cost.
My Mom sent all of the grandkids a few bits of adorable clothing. On the left of the collage below, there is a mix and match set for baby Bree. I love that concept where you can buy one pack but it contains a group of multiple items that can all be interchanged with each other to create several outfits. Bree has a lavender shorts and t-shirt, a butterfly decal t-shirt, then a butterfly romper set. Upper right pic, Baby Boy got a set with a cute dungaree with an elephant on the pocket, a t-shirt, a striped baby-grow and a pair of black shorts. Then he received a second set which will be warmer, one with a teddy bear on the knees and top, then with a checked top and cargo style pants – all four which match and can be swapped about. Bottom right pic, Amelia received 2 pairs of the softest pants and tops, also mix and match. I assume they are PJs because they are so soft, but they are cute enough to be worn to school. Lily said she needs winter PJs so they will be perfect to sleep in.
Mom sent me some shoes by Dirty Laundry that we tried to find last Christmas but they were sold out everywhere at the time. She persisted until she found them in my size. I love them so much, they will be perfect with my new throws & sweaters.
One thing I found out, I had no issue with security and Finn defending me if I needed him to. I know I always feel safe with him here. I also mentioned that we have a new guy Kim helping me in the garden. Finn and Kim were great buds as long as I was not around. Finn lay next to Kim in the garage while he did things I asked him to do. He wandered the garden with him & sat next to him happily when he fixed the fence. Then suddenly Finn would turn and move towards Kim and growl, showing his teeth. Finally we realised it was when I came outside! Finn was happy to keep a close eye on Kim, but as soon as I was on the scene, Finn rapidly moved in between us, separated me physically from Kim and growling. It took us a while to understand why Finn was aggressive sometimes and not others, maybe we are both bad at reading dogs. I am also not used to being Finn’s person, that is usually Norm. I am Poppy’s person, she snuggles up with me and kisses me awake in the mornings.
One thing I love about Kim working here is that he finds plants that are in the dark corners of the garden and rescues them. He found a strelitzia and another plant we are not sure what it is but they were both growing in the shade. We chatted and decided to dig up an area which always looked untidy. Some insect obviously loved it and it always looked straggly. He planted them as well as some other agapanthus into this area he cleared. It looks so fresh and lovely!
We talked about the pests and he had me taste the plants that the insects like and they were all slightly sweet! I get you caterpillar, I get you.
I did an online grocery shop and had it delivered on Thursday. That night I cooked pork chops, mash with gravy and steamed broccoli with lemon. I love pork chops but Norm is not a huge fan. He will at least eat them, but he is not a fan of food with bones.
Last night we just had a take away as Norm was tired and did not feel like cooking the fillet steaks in the fridge and I was happy not to have to assist!
This week I have been thinking about a lot of things from my teen years. I detested school but loved learning. I always felt sick to my stomach and anxious. I felt like I was cosplaying the teens I saw on telly. I did not understand being fake and everyone was mostly fake, I now realise I was too, I just did not do it deliberately in order to hurt anyone, I did it to survive and try to fit in. I was convinced no one liked me and that they were secretly gossiping about me, meanwhile most of them probably had no clue who the awkward weirdo with thick blue aviator glasses and the boyish hair was. I had contacts for ‘going out’, this pic is my high school Senior trip to Daytona Beach where I was off my face the majority of the time.
Then in the early 80’s I had a perm and cut off all of my tops because I was obsessed with Flashdance and people told me I resembled Jennifer Beales.
I remember a girl named Cindy who was a year older than I was in high school. She was funny in a sarcastic way and only popular because of her large family of sisters and cousins being in the classes all around her, but she was not very pretty and I discovered she was a mean girl. She pretended to be my friend and she just used me to gather information about the guy I had a crush on, Steve. She told me she was going to be my intermediary and tell him how much I liked him and set us up, but instead I stood and watched them walk out arm in arm laughing. She played me.
I remember being on a girl’s trip and the older girls talking me into streaking across the camp. I did it because I thought it would make me fit in, of course it made me stand out in a bad way rather than fit in.
I remember a very cute guy, a year older than me and very popular, talking casually and nicely to me one day after school and of course me, fawning in response, then once I relaxed he hit me with a horrid personal question. I want to vomit every time I think about that day. I wonder does he even remember it, or was it inconsequential to him? That one still bugs me.
There are so many instances of boys who told the whole school they slept with me but none of them did. Kiss and make out, sure, but we all did that. The lies came with them saying I did more. I had long term boyfriends most of the time, guys who did not go to our school.
I believed people who pretended to be my friend, I spoke openly and honestly to people. I masked to try and behave like everyone else, but I was incredibly vulnerable and unaware of what was acceptable to do or say in social situations and quite often I still don’t. I have been told I carry a lot of ‘truth medicine’ which some call ‘no filters’. If my words of truth cause pain because you carry shame about who you are or your own behaviour, then that is not my burden to carry. I never deliberately cause harm when I express myself.
I think about how my ADHD makes me crave dopamine and attention and how my autism makes me want to be invisible. I think about how I still often misinterpret people’s motivations and I am either overly suspicious or overly trusting. I think about how so many teens are assholes. I think about how some people never grow out of that behaviour, they only grow deeper into their narcissistic little caves like fungus. How some football heroes and cheerleaders just rely on their old shimmer of glory 30 years after it faded by staying within a few miles radius. It is travel that educates you and widens your empathy to those who suffer. By travel I mean going into the environment, eating the local food, listening to the language, observing the culture, seeing up close and personal how people live.
When we lived in the UK, we would book holidays to places sight unseen or based on a few blurry pics. Decades ago there were very little internet booking services or Air BnB. I decided on a country, then researched the towns, then searched for places to book and crossed my fingers. Some times we lucked out and had amazing places, some times they were quite basic but with an exquisite view but we were never disappointed. My kids experienced us being in places where no one spoke English and we had to mime the meat we wanted to buy at the butchers! They were dragged all over Europe but not to touristy spots usually. The exception was taking my oldest daughter to Paris for her 16th birthday and taking my 2 oldest kids to Amsterdam. Those big cities are must haves for anyone and I am so blessed to have been able to take my kids to these places.
I am so grateful that I have these experiences to shape my knowledge of others and who I am. I am thankful to have my own opinions and not be shaped by the views of those around me or by my husband, even though Norman is as empathetic as I am. He is just far less explosive and reactive than I am and has that Scottish charm.
I try.
Anyway…
I discovered a new series on telly which is everything I love wrapped up in a tidy croissant (or if stuffed with all the good things, does that make it a Pain au chocolat? I prefer the latter).
Castle Impossible includes renovations, decor, style, a fairytale castle, antiques, family history, touching moments and a cute couple doing the renovations and…
🎼🎼🎼these are a few of my favourite things 🎼🎼🎼.
The show follows Daphne Reckert and Ian Figueira who are renovating Daphne’s family inheritance, a French chateau just a few miles outside of Paris. I adore this show! It is obviously edited to suit a storyline but it appears as if they are just forging ahead on trust. They owed the French government a million dollars in inheritance tax when they took over the property but they used the grandfather’s wedding business to raise the funds. It seems each time they need money for the next phase of work, they manage to find something to sell as the property is full of hidden treasures. Quite literally according to lore, but I meant in the form of old motorbikes and antiques that fund them by dribs and drabs. I love that they are renovating using old pieces of furniture from her grandfather’s collections. Grandfather was a bit of a hoarder it would seem. Daphne said he would buy things that were broken and then restore them (or intend to) so some things need to have restoration work to be able to use them. The auctioneer would not accept anything that was not in perfect condition, she gave a Gallic shrug and would not even waste a glance on anything that was damaged. A random bust found in an outbuilding brought them $1000 and they applied that to the flooring. Again, when it was needed, the money just flowed in usually in the exact amount needed. Girl needs to manifest a contingency!!
Today we are off to buy the bits and pieces we need for our own next renovation project. On Monday we start the downstairs renovation: new paint, new bathroom, new front balcony tiles to match upstairs balcony. Once all of this is done we are doing the downstairs floors in screed.
It has been just wonderful having my husband home. On Monday I was starting to feel on the verge of a physical shutdown, but I kept telling myself to just get up and do the next thing on my list, over and over until I could crash at 8pm. I just kept going. That should be the title of my autobiography, I just kept going!
I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend and I will catch you all up next week.
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxox
Kitten in the City 