One of my key memories with my Grandmother is the time we spent in the garden. Or ‘the yard’ as she called it, despite her house sitting on 20 acres of land. My Grandmother Rena was full of superstitions and ‘old wives tales’ and I wish I had taken the time to write them all down or even better to have recorded her telling stories. We think of these things too late unfortunately. She loved flowers and while as a small child I did not have the same devotion to the garden as she did, I certainly had the devotion to my grandmother and wanted to help her. I remember planting irises because she loved them, separating the bulbs when they grew into clusters and then replanting them in another bed.
I thought of those memories while spending time in the garden with Amelia. I tried to show her to be gentle with the plants and to only play with the stones or the little decorations I have all over the place. I loved sharing my love of plants with her, even if she did not quite always grasp what I was saying. The whole visit I spoke slowly and quietly to her so that she had to concentrate to hear me. If I calmly explained that Mom was getting something and coming right back, sometimes she might calm down. Of course, she might not, but that is life with a toddler. But I could see how much she grasped. She loves pushing the boundaries, if you tell her not to do something she looks you dead in the eye, then slowly does it anyway while shaking her head and saying ‘uh huh’. Understanding and adhering to are very different concepts with a child.
Amelia is a Heyókȟa just like her mother and I, the jokester and a magnet for animal life and all of nature. Amelia would sit and watch the birds happily with me. The bonds she has with Finn and Blue are just unbelievable. Blue is a 17 year old grumpy, miserable old git but he tolerated her manhandling so well. In the mornings Blue waited outside their door for them to wake up and let him in then he and Mills rolled around the bed, rubbing faces against each other while Millie cooed ‘ooohhh boooo’.
Last Sunday brought back such airport related trauma from the days when I had to put my children on flights to return home to their father for the school year. They spent school holidays with me which unfortunately for them meant they never had a full proper summer as the ‘summer’ in the UK meant I was at work other than for our 2 week annual European holiday. We took them all over Europe (Scotland, Portugal, France, Sardinia, Greece, Amsterdam, Spain, Wales, England, as well as both Southern and Northern Ireland). I kept hoping that they would view some exotic location and say ‘wow! I love it here and want to live here as an adult‘ and then I would convince all three to collectively move somewhere other than South Africa. As much as they loved their trips to locations most kids only dream of, they never thought any of them had more to offer than SA. So here I am, in SA.
Where I am meant to be.
Without me moving back I would not have been there when Amelia was born or saw her in all of her stages and transitions. I would not have had this lovely long visit where it was just Amelia and I, or Papa Norm if things moved to yellow status, or Miss Rachel if things moved to red status (I am a project manager, it is in my nature to be organised and it allows the autistic in me to put in controls and boundaries to help me stay balanced.)
I would not have been here when Bree was born and I would not be able to have excitement over planning our summer swim parties with both girls. Our lives could not be happier. We are so blessed. Saying that, I was incredibly sad after Lily and Amelia left on Sunday. I decided I needed to do something to keep me busy rather than sitting being sad all day. I could be sad and garden at the same time. At least I would feel productive.
I had ordered some cute pots on Takealot and Norm had put drainage holes in the bottoms. I dragged out a bag of potting soil and took clippings from around the garden. I put in some bits that drape over the front and some that should fill out the back. I will adjust as they grow.
I then went to sit at the back of the house where it was cool and noticed this dead bit of tree branch that I had been obsessing over for weeks. I decided to remove it and consequently nearly broke my neck. It looked dead so I climbed up onto the top of the fairy garden, stretched up high and tugged the limb as hard as I could. It refused to budge and sort of boomeranged back up, tossing me face first onto the shepherds hook and flat into the fairy garden. My legs bashed the rock planters and my elbows bashed who knows what. My back was pulled badly as was my neck. I sent Norm a message telling him of my adventure and he came with a little cutter device he has which can go high.
Afterwards we had a laugh about what an accident prone person I am and how I am always covered in bruises from my catastrophes. We sat on the back patio and had a coffee.
The next thing I knew it was midday and I had fallen asleep on the sofa outside, woken only by the soft misty rain against my face. I never nap but obviously I needed it! Norm had popped a big fluffy blanket on me and I was cosy if damp.
The wind had picked up on Sunday and by Monday it was very strong.
I could sit at the back of the house and have my coffee and it is mostly protected by the elements. I have fallen in love with my back garden again now that it no longer smells of doggy pee.
The builders who installed our aluminium windows came on Monday to try and correct the issues we have had with rain pouring through the new windows and doors they installed. The cat flap on the kitchen door had snapped off as well. Norm realised it had simply been glued onto the door, not properly fitted, and he had bought a replacement but the standard one did not fit because of the way they had cut the door. Luckily the window guys managed to install a new one and hopefully it stays. Hopefully this means that there will be no further damage to our house from the rain and we will never have to interact with this company again.
Norm has the names of a few painters he is going to contact as that is our next project, painting the outside of the house. It will make a huge difference! Of course I am picturing it already done, that is how I do my manifestations. I have vague colours in my visions for the outside, but the inside will be the same paint as upstairs, so it is easier to visualise. We need to do the inside of the house downstairs and the entire outside.
I also ordered a new light fixture for the outside front of the house as we are changing all of the lights outside. I just had an email to say the one I ordered is now out of stock so I have to go and choose again. I already bought the 2 which will go on the balcony ceilings upstairs and down. They are all black metal frames with glass panes and will blend nicely with the doors and windows. But I also ordered some fairy lights for the back patio as we are spending a lot of time there.
The insane wind continued for days. It was quite unpleasant! At least it was not the hot muggy air from the other side of the mountain (it has a direction which the locals always refer to, but I cannot store that in my head).
Tuesday our gardener Mzudumo came and he moved my buddleia from the back pot to the front where we had a bit of a gap after redoing the driveway. The buddleia had been in the pots for years and had outgrown them. This video was taken after I added other plants.
Our social circle was supposed to be on Tuesday evening at Tamlyn’s house, but it turned out to be just us two attending that night so Tam came here and we sat outside at the back in the protected area away from the wind. In the evenings the smell of jasmine is so strong and the patio is so cosy. We ordered take aways and had an early night.
The wind calmed down on Wednesday and it was gorgeous!
But the next day it was misty and overcast and a bit chilly. It looked like it would rain but it never actually got there. As it was cool I took advantage of this to do some more gardening. I had some pots which were rusting to bits so the plants were not getting enough water. They had been in these pots for years and had also grown a bit mad.
I dug holes into the earth and separated out the plants into individual areas. Both videos are in the post above, you have to page to the next one. #EditingFail I was very happy with the results.
I had ordered groceries and so that night I cooked a big pot of chili con carne as Norm was craving it. We added tortilla chips, cheese and sour cream.
Vanessa came to give me a pedicure on Wednesday and my toes looked lovely. My fingernails were full of dirt from the garden as usual!
Yesterday Wes took his grandfather out for lunch and Caitlin asked me to come and help her with Bree. The lactation specialist was also there so that took up a lot of time but I got 2 long holds of Bree. Both times I was given a crying baby and both times I settled her really quickly. The first time she was hungry but I used the ‘Ohhhmmm’ technique which worked so well with Amelia and Bree was out in seconds. I put her across my chest so the vibration of my heart was in synch with hers. Then after the specialist left I managed to get her settled quickly by humming to her and holding her tightly and she slept snuggled under my chin for ages while Caitlin had time to sort herself out after a feed. She was such a sweet smelling little bundle. Her eyes are properly open now and she is looking at her world with curiosity so we are starting to see some personality emerging.
Like I said, I am so blessed!! I have an amazing career, I have healthy and kind children who are all happy with their lives. I have a wonderful husband, my other half, my rock. My Mom is still with us. We have a gorgeous home, with a gorgeous view. I pinch myself sometimes but I try to always express my gratitude for all of these things.
Today after he collected me from Caitlin and Wes, Norm took Blue kitty down to the vet. He has been peeing in our shower and it appeared to have blood in it. The vet checked him all over, checked his urine and said he is in pretty good shape considering his age. He has actually gained weight but is still scrawny. He gave us meds and a big bill and they came back home. Apparently the peeing in the shower is a way to show his upset at changes in his life. He has lost both poms, had strangers in the house and then had his love affair with Millie cut short and her to go home and abandon him. That is a lot of change! It could also be dementia because he is old AF. But he is in good shape for an old git.
I realise with the research about being a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and AuDHD (Autistic / ADHD) that there are so many areas of commonality between the two. They both need a lot of alone time ☑️ They both recharge in nature ☑️ They are both prone to issues of addiction ☑️ They are both prone to suicide or attempts. I know that I have discovered that a lot of my own characteristics which were attributed to being a Virgo are actually related to my neurodiversity. So maybe things which I attributed to being a little bit ‘crazy’ are due to the other things I am researching? Maybe all of theses diagnoses are just a big ole washin’ machine of letters tumultuously tumbling around in my head?
Today I have a workshop to attend and I will tell you all about it next week. I hope you all enjoy your weekends and the week ahead.
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxxo
Kitten in the City 
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