I was recently thinking about when I was young and carefree. I was about as deep as a puddle despite being educated, I was only educated in Science related things, not anything to do with EQ or street savvy. I only developed empathy once I had children, this may be part of being Neurodiverse but I think it was part of being insulated. I did not grow up around any discussion of politics and only became interested in world affairs once I started traveling and in politics once I met Norman who is incredibly aware of so many things I have no clue about. He is good at explaining things in a way that makes them interesting.
When I was young I was always carefree because I had no clue about the unfairness of the world, or the struggles of anyone who did not live pretty much the same as I did. Once you become jaded to the ways of the world it is hard to be lighthearted, but I can still choose to be grateful and happy.
Some people drain me so much that after spending time with them I feel like I have had a pint of blood taken and need a cookie and some orange juice but some people make me feel buoyant. It is not a matter of whether we talk about happy or sad subjects, it is about that person’s energy. The same as some people you can sit quietly with and some people feel the need to fill every second with some sort of noise. I am not good at sitting quietly.
I had my Neurodiversity therapy appointment on Monday and I put my headphones on for the meeting and could not hear my therapist at all but she could hear me clearly. About half way through the session I took the headphones off for a sec and realised that her voice was coming out of the laptop not my headphones. I had been streaming something and had not changed the settings on Zoom to use the plug in. Sometimes I am an eejit. However I did not beat myself up about it, I went off into peals of laughter. I can always laugh at myself. I laugh at my own jokes too. I think that is due to being ND, as someone who does not always recognise sarcasm myself, maybe that is my subconscious cue for the listener to know it is a joke? As a sufferer of Resting Bitch Face, I think they need a clue.
Luckily my therapist has the same sense of humour and she laughed with me.
She asked how I was coping with my attempts to change my sleep pattern to a 10pm bedtime and I told her that I am mostly succeeding but I still wake at 5 or 6am most mornings, but I have decided that if that is all my body needs then that is fine. I told her about the night when I did not sleep at all once I left the sofa. I just lie there playing games or petting Finn. She said that the reason I am not affected by it is that I have accepted it. I realised that is exactly the reason!
That is also the reason I am trying to stick to the other changes, I have accepted that my health is at risk if I do not make changes. I have accepted that, much like any other addict, I do not have to say that I will never eat another pastry, instead I just accept that for today I will not eat pastry! I really love pastry.
I have joined a few social media groups / pages which are based on Neurodiversity and this week someone was posting about how hard it is for ND people to make and keep friends. They said that when they vibe with a person then they almost make that person one of their ‘special interests’ and that sometimes that intense beam of focus can scare people off or make them think you are coming on too strong. I am the sort who meets someone at a gathering and decides I love their energy and want to be their friend, but I think that only works when you are in kindergarten. Adults are supposed to be more reserved and to play it cool. I am neither of those things, I am just myself. I am like a puppy when excited, I get a bit over-stimulated and uncontrollable. But that is OK, I am who I am.
There have been several women that I can think back on and realise I overwhelmed them. I remember meeting someone and I loved her whole vibe, she was dressed in just my style and was beautiful and elegant and I fawned. I told her I loved her boots, her turquoise and silver jewelry her whole vibe. She had an expression like I had leaned over and licked her face. At the time I did not realise that was why she was standoffish. I know her better now and I adore her as a person as well as her vibe. She just could not take my intensity.
I think I have just reached the place where I am happy with my life, happy with myself, happy with my family, my work….. I am finally realising that the goal is to accept your reality or change it. I have finally gotten to the place where I am content and I value myself.
I think that I am worth the effort to cook a nice dinner and prepare healthy snacks for the 5 expected small meals of anti-inflammatory foods. I told my therapist that I have set up processes to keep me prepared, as preparedness is the key to success. I have been ordering online and only ordering a few treats for Norm but I am ordering lots of healthy vegetables, a few fruits, yogurts, nuts and unprocessed foods. I do not mind cooking when I have nice things to choose from in the fridge. I am so grateful that I can afford to do that, buy the things I fancy that are as per the allowed list. Fresh is expensive!
I had a pack of 8 chicken breasts that covered us for two nights. The first night I baked the chicken with lots of onions, threw some butternut in the same pan and then separately roasted brussel sprouts in balsamic vinegar. The sprouts were inedible as I did not check on them in time and burnt them. Oops. At least the chicken and butternut were tasty and the view pretty amazing.
I threw the remaining breasts in a baggy with Greek yogurt, garlic, paprika, pepper and lemon juice and squished them about then put them in the refrigerator until the next night when I baked them in their marinade. To go with the chicken I roasted some sliced zucchini since the oven was on, steamed a head of cauliflower and made a raw spinach salad with avocado, red onions, radishes, nuts, seeds and a bit of Caesar dressing. It was really tasty and the chicken was so tender from the marinade.
The next night I baked a pork fillet in teriyaki and an ‘Asian dressing’ from Woolworths. I steamed broccoli and made another baby spinach salad, this time with avocado, feta, cucumber, nuts, seeds and red onion.
I prefer my spinach raw and you have to cook it quickly or it goes slimy so we had it two nights in a row. Each night I only ate half of my meat and saved the other half for the following day’s salad based lunch. I have ready made chopped salads and nuts and bits I chuck in to keep the variety going.
We have had a houseful of chaos and noise all week and everything is coated in a layer of dust again. We got Nic Nails in to remove the old tiles on our Juliet balcony, repair the waterproofing and put down new tiles. The team of builders led by Daiyaan started on Monday. The little balcony has 3 doors to it; one from both front bedrooms and one from the landing. I love sitting here at night and having a drink. I took a before pic for comparison.
The whole process took 2 and a bit days. We will paint the wood strip at the top of the balcony black and we are getting new light fittings for the first and second floor balconies. This was the look at the end of day 1.
This was the end of day 2.
At the end of it all Norm took another video. It looks lovely and fresh.
We have a guy coming next week to give us a quote on installing a black metal railing to go with the new black windows. It should really modernise the look of the house. Once we are finished with all of the bits and pieces we will have the outside of the house painted a warm shade of white.
Thursday kicked off the 4 day Easter holiday. I was so excited to see that Dario’s had a clam pasta special on that Norm and I decided to do a date night and I booked for us to go. Just when we started to get ready the sky turned dark and it became incredibly windy. We arrived and were seated outside as we preferred to be close enough to hear the live music.
They had the protective covers down and it kept the wind mostly at bay. It was incredibly windy as it can only be when you are by the sea and we were maybe 2 minutes from the beach. A couple left a bit later and we moved to their table as Norm was a wee bit in the aisle of the venue and was catching the wind. We were happy there but the wind was banging the drop curtains hard which made me jumpy as it was just at my back. We then rotated right one seat and old Silverlocks here was happy with her chair.
The guy singing was quite good.
He sang all sorts of things from my beloved Red Hot Chili Peppers to Crowded House. I knew every song and sang along softly so as to not be heard by anyone else. We really enjoyed him as he was soft enough to not be obtrusive if you wanted to chat to each other but loud enough that you could hear him over the noise the crowd. By crowd, I do mean crowd. I was glad we had booked as the place was rammed. As a result it took quite a long time to get served. The people next to us threw a right tantrum. It calmed me right down despite my gnawing hunger because it was not pretty.
Pasta Vongole is one of my all time favourite pastas but I have not had it in years and years. The pasta was perfectly al dente and the sauce light and nicely flavoured. I would have liked more clams, most of the shells were empty, but the few I got I savoured. It was perfectly cooked.
Norm ordered the calamari and chips special. I tried to steal a chip and he was not happy.
In fact, he was still hungry afterwards so we opted for dessert. I was hoping for their lemon meringue pie because it is my favourite of any venue in Hout Bay, but they were sold out. I chose chocolate cake. It was huge and had an odd dense, gelatinous texture. I thought maybe I was being Neurodivergent Texture Freaky so I asked Norm to have a bite, he said it tasted a bit jelly like (I had not told him what I thought it tasted like). I just ate a bit and left the rest.
Norm had tiramisu and he finished every bite of it. I liked the touch of pomegranate on top.
Sorry my pics are so dark, it was a lovely and cosy vibe in the venue but not great for pictures. I should have lighted them but I may have had a drink or two by the time I loaded them to Insta. Allegedly. All in all we had a lovely evening and will start doing a more regular date night. We used to do so often but after lock down we never got back into the swing of it. I will try to start booking us somewhere each week.
Friday I just relaxed while Norm worked. I sat by the pool in the shade and enjoyed the birds, watched a bit of RHONY and enjoyed my freedom to be able to do exactly that.
Today is busy. I have a friend’s birthday party to attend for lunch and then tonight Norm and I are going to Cheyne’s for dinner with a work colleague of his. I am very excited for both activities! The people for the first one and the food for the second one.
Monday I have an appointment with my health coach (for lack of what else to call her) but other than that we have the rest of the weekend to recover, I have a gammon I am going to throw in the slow cooker and that will feed us dinner as well as provide meat for a few day’s lunches. I have a grocery order coming on Tuesday with my goodies which adhere to my anti-inflammatory diet.
I deserve the care to shop. I deserve the care to cook for myself. I deserve to be happy.
So do you!
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten x0x0x0xx0
Kitten in the City 