In my last post I mentioned our new Social Club and how excited I was about it. We met on last Saturday afternoon and I arrived a bit after 1pm as we had to stop and pick up snacks at the shop. I always like to take something gluten free just in case. I had not eaten yet other than 2 coffees so I was ravenous. Norm popped into the shops for me while Finn and I waited in the truck as I was wearing baggy leggings and flamboyantly fringed boots so I did not want to wander about as if it was a Walmart, Hout Bay is small. I have some dignity.
However that is the benefit of this new group – you can arrive at whatever time suits you between the hours of 1 and 4! It was so casual. Everyone was in their warm and comfy clothes. T is hiding in the pic as she has not done her face or hair but that is also the beauty of this meet up, arrive how you wish!
One of the ladies brought some gorgeous Turkish foods, a cheese filled pastry ‘cigar’ and a pot of Shakshouka (minus the eggs). Oh wow this was all really full of flavour and were so tasty! Tam put out some other snacks and we all picked, nibbled and chatted nonsense. Tam also built a roaring fire so we were toasty and warm inside.
Next time the group are meeting at another member’s house but I will be down in George for that one as it is near Lily’s due date. We will alternate who hosts so I will host when back, I love having people over (as long as they can tolerate the attention from and smells of my dogs).
On Saturday night after the women’s group I had ordered some Indian food to be collected from Bryani with an I, an online food service run from a local woman’s kitchen. We had a delicious chicken tikka masala roti and I also bought a 6 pack of potato samosas for us to share. Oh wow they were amazing!
I also ordered a butter chicken from her for Wednesday night, it is the second time we had the butter chicken. I am very weird about meat and their chicken is always breast meat and is in big chunks.
Sunday I hoped to work in the garden but it was so cold and wet that I just watched telly in front of a big fire. That night we all snuggled up on the sofa.
Last Monday the week started out as overcast and it looked like it would rain but it held out other than the occasional fluster of scattered raindrops. The animals all just lay by the door watching the world go by and missing their usual mooch about the garden nooks and crannies.
But that was probably the best day of the week as the damp cold lasted all week. Lola wanted to be cuddled constantly and we compromised by making her a bed in a chair right next to my desk on a cosy sheepskin.
Our challenge in Hout Bay is that there are only 3 roads into town, one by the coast road and the second via Constantia, both of which had issues and the other route is via Chapman’s Peak toll booth which has had rockfalls and mudslides before but funny enough remained viable all week as far as I am aware. We had various security notifications about mudslides, rockfalls, trees fallen across roads, and all manner of disastrous natural dramas via both of the other routes due to the howling wind and pelting rainstorms.
I have been thinking about our healing and the need to take ownership of that. In the last episode of the final season of Queer Eye on Netflix, Karamo says ‘just because it is not your fault, does not mean it is not your responsibility’. This hit me hard because so often we put ourselves head down into the ‘prepare for a crash’ position and do not think about the work we need to do to understand the impacts of these situations on our development, mental health or even those that manifest physically.
I wonder if being overweight is some sort of mental padding, an insulation to stop me feeling whatever pain or anger I have in there. I know I have some of both….. getting it to rise up from the depths I have buried and buried and buried it for years is the trick. Then I saw this and realised it is time to dig into the depths of that hurt.
Another key that came up is guilt and shame around the loss of custody of my children. Just because I was a recipient of their father’s dirty tricks, it does not absolve me of the fact that I lived in Europe until the kids were finishing up at school and I returned to SA. This period of my life is a key one on my Descansos which I mentioned. I still have to actually draw out the ‘route’ of my life still so I will work on all of these things this weekend as this is perfect weather for indoor activities.
I feel very behind in my homework for my shaman course as when I was away in George I had no alone time to meditate or write. Since I got back it has been too wet to sit outside and I am really missing being amongst my birds and nature. I still pray outside each morning but not barefoot as it just too cold in the damp, often muddy, grass. Meanwhile I may sit and stare at the fire and think…. meditation of sorts. I am missing the warm sunny weather.
Mzudumo planted a couple of pieces of a large aloe which I nicked from where Lily and Josh stay. I now have all manner of orange plants in this bed. The large pepper tree makes it so shady and the ground has so many roots. I hope they survive and I cannot wait til next year to see if they all bloom.
In addition to finishing the last season of Queer Eye, both of this week’s reviews are LGBTQI+ focused to recognise the month of Pride.
First we have Drag Me To Dinner which is hosted by transgender Drag King Comedian Murray Hill, David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris. The series is also produced by David and his husband Neil.
This feels a bit like an episode length RuPaul’s Drag Race Challenge. It seems to be a mix of scripted and unscripted. Some queens actually cook and others just seem to faff about being dramatic on a counter. I think this is fine to have playing in the background while you do something else but it does not hold enough tea to keep me mesmerised for a whole episode. I give it 3 Kitten Stars ⭐⭐⭐ It is streaming on Hulu.
The second series I watched is The Ultimatum: Queer Love. It is on Netflix.
This series follows a group of five couples, made up of women and non-binary people. One partner is ready for marriage, the other is dragging their heels, so an ultimatum is issued. Enter Scene. The couples all do a bit of speed dating and then, just like that, they pair up with another person and head off to spend 3 weeks living with a complete stranger as a ‘married couple’. Some of the couples are intimate with each other and some are not. After this period they all go back to their original partner and spend 3 weeks applying their newly acquired sense of sensible things in the relationship. Is this done to make them feel their worth after reflecting against another person who made them feel unworthy by not choosing them? Or is it just to wreak havoc on people’s lives and create some drama and more Z-list ‘celebrities’? Then there is a chance for the person who was issued the ultimatum to either propose or walk away from their original partner. This show is crazy!!! Many of my lesbian friends are incredibly jealous so to see the ‘love of their life’ cozying up to someone else seems a recipe for disaster. I remember once when we lived in Belfast and we had a party and we were sitting in the lounge when a pile of lesbian limbs came rolling down our steps and into the drive where they disentangled and continued fighting. We just looked at each other and shrugged as there was always some drama or another. Maybe that is just Belfast lesbians? Anyway, I give this show 5 Kitten Stars because I could not stop watching until I found out who paired up with who! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I strongly identified with Vanessa, the most annoying person on the show. She was not really very well liked. She admitted in the reunion that she never realised how she came off until she watched herself back. Meanwhile I watch myself over and over in my head on repeat after every time I say something stupid. I often say I am like marmite: people either love me or hate me. I know that I act out due to anxiety so maybe instead of drinking to cope with the anxiety I should just sit quietly and observe?
Who am I kidding, that will never happen. Unless I inadvertently bite off my tongue before Monday’s book club. However I have decided to see how this next one goes. If I find it is not ticking my boxes I may decide to bail. If people are just shouting at us and making it a regimented drama then that is my sign to depart. Who needs that?
This weekend is a long weekend for us in South Africa. Friday was ‘Youth Day’ which is in memory of the Soweto Uprising. I have written about this before and you can read one of those posts here. It is a solemn day of remembrance.
Yesterday I came down to pray as I always do and when I turned to the North direction I asked my Ancestors to help me to incorporate the characteristics from my Ultimate Woman ceremony. If you want to read about the ceremony this is the post. As I asked this I heard a loud crash and scraping sound. I turned to the gate and saw our black rubbish bin slide into view, it was upside down so that the top was flapping back and forth. My immediate thought was ‘you CAN be the ultimate woman once you clear out all of your rubbish’. However when I shared this experience with Tass she flipped it on it’s head and said that maybe spirit is actually telling me that I have cleared out all of my rubbish (the bin was empty).
Then this morning this came across my timeline. I AM the Ultimate Woman. Maybe it is like a Barbie, I just need to add the accessories? Except instead of a Camper Van or shoes and a handbag, the accessories are self care and self love?
Norm dropped me off to visit with my friend Tam at her place around noon yesterday. Tam built a big fire and we talked a good mix of spiritual and nonsensical stuff as always. I know I can say anything to Tam and she will never judge me and I never worry about being weird. She knows I am weird! We have the same sense of humour and always laugh a lot.
Norm came to collect me midday and later that evening he popped out to the shop and came home with some proteas for me. He is so sweet!
Last night was freezing cold again so we just cuddled on the sofa and watched some telly.
Today I had a long lie in bed and only recently got showered and ready to face the day. I hope the rain stays away so that I can do a bit of pottering about outside. My fairy garden is in need of some attention. I also have some reading to catch up on and homework to do. It is fabulous that it is only Saturday afternoon when I have already felt like I had a weekend.
I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend and week ahead.
Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxoxo
Kitten in the City 