I’ve written often about how hard it is to make friends as an adult. I think if you are lucky enough to have ‘lifetime’ friends, there is nothing better. This is why it makes me so happy that both of my adult daughters are away for a weekend with girlfriends who have been in their lives for a long time, know them properly and love them.

My youngest daughter Lily flew down to Cape Town this weekend to have a Mom’s weekend with her childhood friends and their children. They live all over the world now and are here from the Bahamas, New Zealand and various places in South Africa. These women have been friends since they were very small.

My oldest daughter Caitlin has flown to Durban to attend a very good friend’s wedding. She will be seeing her group of besties from University. They also live all over the world now and only Caitlin remains in Cape Town. Wes is looking after Bree this weekend.

I value that my daughters have these women who know and love them, just as they are. It is so important.

Last week I spoke vaguely about being severely dysregulated but I did not explain what happened to set me off. I am finally calm enough to share what happened. Prepare yourself as it may upset you too, so trigger warning for poverty, aversion to creepy crawlies amongst other things!!

When I had fed Finn on Wednesday evening the dried food had spilled a bit around his bowl. Now we all may remember the story about Africa’s Largest Cockroach taking up residency in Finn’s bag of food in the garage? That story is here. I felt safe as I was too tired to clean it up and we were inside.

On Thursday morning I went downstairs and at first glance my sleepy eyes just pick up that the floor looked incredibly messy. When I looked closer I saw that there were ants everywhere! Then I noticed that there was not only ants in the melee, there were maggots all over the pantry and kitchen floor. The rubbish bin had been very full the night before but I did not want to go outside in the dark because I am a wuss. However nothing could be much worse than having to sweep up little piles of beasties that are trying to wriggle away so I have learned that lesson. They can really move for a legless tube of flesh. I watched and they seem to have a strong survival instinct. They went to the edge of the room and used the skirting board to navigate in a straight path towards the light.

I had showered and washed my hair that morning as Norm was coming back the next day and I wanted to look nice. It was already in the high 20℃’s by morning and I was dripping with sweat by the time I finished sweeping, vaccuming and scrubbing things down. I was sobbing, crying, and sweating. It was like something from a horror movie and that is just my appearance, not mentioning the floor.

But I did it. I cleaned it all up and emptied the bin outside and pushed it out for collection the following morning. I washed the dog bowls and fed them. I fed the cat. I made a coffee and sat down to check my email. I saw my Elder’s Meditation message for the day.

This seemed to calm me down a bit. I had been watching the creatures (just the word triggers me so creatures they shall be) and they were interesting. They were disgusting but fascinating.

A few days later this meditation popped up and it felt like the second punch of reality.

It was the Universe reinforcing me to ask “Who do I think I am? Why do I think I am so important? I am no more important than the other beasties made by our Creator.”

It also drove home to me exactly how privileged I am that I do not have to contend with this situation regularly. When I told both Chichi and Kim they just shrugged and said ‘and?’. They have to deal with this sort of issue all of the time in the township. I guess that familiarity allows them to just shrug off the revulsion and get on with sorting it out instead of crying hysterically like I did.

Except my body does not know that I should see the beasties as any other creature created by my creator. When we came home on Tuesday night and I climbed out of the car in the rain to run inside, a large red cockroach ran across the ground in front of me. I did a complete U-turn and ran back towards the car which was unfortunately now moving towards me and I careened off of the hood. Norm freaked out at me for nearly causing him to run over me. Meanwhile I was screaming ‘cockroachhhh’ and staggering sideways, the oncoming car did not faze me. Eventually he managed to get me into the kitchen and avoided the dogs escaping so he could catch Mr Roach. Yuck. I am so sorry my Creator, I am trying!!!!

On Tuesday after work Norm and I went over to Caitlin and Wes’s house to look after my granddaughter Bree so that Wes could take Caitlin out to Little Fox. It was a mutually beneficial situation as Wes and Caitlin had a lovely relaxed evening together celebrating Wes’ recent pay rise and Norm and I had such fun with Bree. Norm pushed her all around in her little duck cart. She then rode her bike around and around the garden. It had started to rain gently and Norm had put his hand out with the palm up and said ‘it’s raining!’ so Bree kept running out from under the patio cover and putting her hand out and shaking it and saying ‘wainin!’. She is such a little copy cat, her and Norm spent ages making silly faces and hand movements and being goofy and mirroring each other. She had such a giggle. She has a brilliant sense of humour and she is constantly on the move.

She had a nice healthy plate of food, sausages, carrots and a small piece of corn on the cob. She adored that corn on the cob! She finished all of her food and so I cut another piece of corn on the cob which she also devoured. She loved saying ‘cob corn’ or some combo of ‘corn on the cob’ but she was adamant about how much she loved it.

Norm and I ordered Mr Delivery from Col’Cacchio. We do not have a branch in Hout Bay and we usually have their pizza but we both felt like pasta. Norm chose the bolognaise and I chose the crema de gamberi which contains prawns. When it came it looked divine but then I took a bite and realised it was not prawns, it looked like what we call crawdads in America?

What is the South African equivalent of a crawdad? It had shells and ickle legs and very little meat. The shells are softer than a prawn shells but still the texture freaked me out. I chucked them all out and just ate the pasta. Yech. They are too buggy for me.

We ate our dinner while Bree danced about drinking her milk and then we played in the lounge a bit before she had to go to bed. When it was bedtime Norm and I both went to change Bree into her sleep sack, then she finished her milk and we cuddled in the rocker while I read her two books. OK, one book twice as per her demands. When I told her it was bedtime she made a half hearted sad face as if she were obligated to protest, but I could tell she was really tired. I lay her down in her crib and she snuggled up with her teddy and popped her dummy in her mouth. She did not even cry she just made a half hearted whimper then settled in. She is such a good sleeper. Cait and Wes got home before half past 8 and she was sound asleep. We headed home and were chilling out at home soon after. It was such a fun evening, I felt so blessed.

On Monday when Chichi came to work she said that a friend of hers had been shot as well as her niece. The lady had brought the niece from Zimbabwe to Cape Town to help her with her new baby while she was at work. Chichi said her friend was murdered by the local gangs because she is a foreigner who had a good job. You often hear about Xenophobia but when it hits close to home it is unexpected. The story that Chichi told me is that her friend worked at a pizza place in the village and when the lady left work that night she was chased by a gang of armed men and when she ran into her shack they followed and shot her 16 times. Her niece was shot too and is in the hospital. It is so sad that people consider other people’s lives to have no value. Luckily the baby is not injured, but now her daughter has to grow up without her mother.

Then when Kim came on Wednesday he told us that he and some Malawian friends had been traveling to Khayelitsha (another township) to visit some other Malawian friends over the weekend. They were in a local taxi which was a Toyota Avanza. They were stopped on the road outside of the township by a guy with a gun and they were held to ransom. The gunmen demanded they hand over both the car and a lot of money but Kim and his friends managed to give them R1000 and were allowed to go. The payment was a penalty because they were in a Toyota Avanza taxi. The guys who stopped them drove the bigger typical South African taxi minivans and they said that no other type of taxi is allowed in that area.

These taxi drivers hold many businesses to ransom. For example, we do not have a Checkers delivery service in Hout Bay because our local taxis attacked the drivers. These taxis also drive like lunatics. Recently one of them overtook on a blind corner on the road in towards our village and ran over a group of cyclists, killing one of them and injuring several others. There was a group of approximately 20 cyclists travelling from Camps Bay towards Hout Bay and the taxi was going the other direction when he overtook the row of cars.

The crazy things that happen here are not explainable to anyone outside of an African country, things are very different in some ways. In some areas South Africa is so advanced, for example I was surprised at how backward the US banking system is compared to ours. Our medical service is exceptional, if you can afford it. The free care is also excellent in some places and absolutely deadly in some remote areas. Some provinces are riddled by filth, corruption and mismanagement. Some provinces are maintained and well run. South Africa is a place of huge divergences in salaries and lifestyles.

I am very lucky to have a good job, a lovely home, a wonderful husband and to be able to spend time with my children and grandchildren. We have a happy life here but there are millions who do not have the same standard of living we are fortunate to have.

We did have a day or two of warm weather this week. Iced coffee and pastries were my spoil.

I cooked last Sunday afternoon, I needed to eat and I had food in the fridge which I could cope with as it just meant chucking it in the oven. I managed to mess that up too though as there were 2 racks of ribs and I did not see that through all of the sauce. The mac n cheese ended up overcooking a bit while I grilled the late discovered rack of ribs. But it fed me. I gave the other half to Chichi the next day.

Lily and the kids spent yesterday with us. Norm fetched them early in the morning and they hung out with us until the afternoon when they could check in to the place they have rented for the weekend.

It was pouring with rain so Lily had a nightmare of a journey walking from airport to plane in the pouring rain. Her stroller got soaked. The dogs were all over poor Amelia when they got here. She loves Poppy but Finn was a bit much for her. It was funny as she and Finn were besties when she was here before but they have not been down here for over 6 months and that is a long time at that age. Poppy ran around in the rain like a lunatic because she was so excited.

It was wonderful to see them even if it was quick. Spending time with all three grandbabies in one week is extra special.

Last night and today it has continued raining.

The garden really needs it but I had hoped to do some planting this weekend since I am away next week.

While sitting out there I had so many bizarre bird interactions. Two male sunbirds flew down and had a brouhaha hovering in the air right in front of me. Two Cape Robin Chats came down and flew in and out of the olive trees right in front of me and there were several groups of swee waxbills eating at the feeder. Maybe the rain brought them out?

Lily and her babies will fly back to George on the same flight with me on Monday as I will be staying in George for a week. I am working from Lily’s, I am not on vacation, work is hectically busy. With Amelia at preschool during most of my working hours it should be manageable. Our team meetings are in the late afternoon as we have an American branch to the client team. That will be interesting with Amelia zooming around in the background of my video calls.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and week ahead. Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxox