Having four days off of work with no obligations was fabulous. However, before the long weekend ended I once again had excess responsibility foisted on me. By that I mean, Norm’s chores. Yes, I am a Princess.

Before he went away Norm treated me to a gorgeous lunch at the new Little Fox. When we sat down on the outside patio we had a laugh about how many different restaurants we have been to at this spot in the 20ish years we have lived in South Africa together. It used to be an olde worlde type place and the year that Norm moved to Cape Town to live with me, we went for Christmas Dinner there. It had a beautiful view but the restaurant was dark and a bit dreary and looked as if it had not been cleaned in a while. The food was dreadful, like only overcooked buffet food can be dreadful. At that time we were homeless due to a misunderstanding with my letting agent so we could not cook for ourselves. That is another story for another day.

Then it changed ownership and got a good scrub up and it became a very trendy place where they had a DJ and dance parties outside on the deck. The food was supposed to be good but I only dined there once, it was mostly a drink and dance until you fall over sort of place. It was well known as somewhere the bartenders would rob you and the waiters would dupe you on your bill. They tried it with Norm but he is Scottish, it did not work.

Now both Foxcroft and the new Little Fox are both located at Constantia Nek, right at the top of the mountain. Little Fox is the baby restaurant of Foxcroft which is the baby restaurant of La Colombe. There are quite a few baby La Colombe’s now as well. All of them are very special and we usually only book there if we are recognising a special occasion as it is very expensive. Foxcroft was at another venue for years, I wrote about it often before lockdown.

The clouds were giving lots of cover so it was not too hot. We were seated right next to a very loud speaker playing noisy rocky 80s music and it was really getting to me. Eventually Norm asked if I had my earplugs which luckily I did! I was much happier then. It is so interesting that I can be in a state of overstimulation but be too overstimulated to think of a coping mechanism.

We were both starving so we got stuck into the menu. There is an option to have multiple courses of the Chef’s Choices, or to order ‘small plates’ ala carte. We opted for the small plates.

We decided to order 3 dishes each and we only chose one dish in common. Norm likes meat and I like seafood so it was not a surprise. We both started with the Line fish which was fresh Sea Bass in a southern Thai yellow curry with baby shrimp, sticky rice and pak choi. This dish was R295 ($17.50 USD at today’s exchange rates). This sauce was absolutely rich, tasty, and gorgeous!! I enjoyed this dish a lot but I did not like the fish skin, it was a horrid texture. The fish was so fresh it tasted of the sea.

We then waited ages for our plates to be cleared. Eventually we stacked them on the side of the table. That is my pet hate. Then we waited for approximately 45 minutes for the next course to arrive only to have 2 dishes arrive at once. I suspect one had been sitting as my mussels were cold.

I had the coal-fired prawns in a peri-peri cashew crumb charred salsa verde with a smoked garlic sauce. This dish was R255 (approx $15 USD). The sauce was gorgeous, the prawns were fresh, plump and tender. I loved this dish. I appreciated that the chef had removed the head, cleaned it, and left only a small little bit of tail attached. It was easy to eat with a knife and fork. This was my #1.

My third dish was the West Coast Mussels in a nahm prik pla dressing. It was R225 (approx. $13.25 USD). It was served with sticky rice which came in a cute little steamer, but I did not eat the rice. As mentioned the mussels came at the same time as the prawns. They were cold, not sure if that was from waiting in the kitchen or waiting while I ate my prawns.

Norm’s two dishes arrived at the same time as well. He started with the Pork Belly Kimchi Jiggae with white cabbage, sesame and radish. It was R245 (approx. $15 USD). I did not like the look of this, it was much too fatty for me. Norm raved about this dish, it was his #1 of the day.

Next he ate the Wagyu flat iron with mushroom ragout and sauce Diane. It was the most expensive dish on the menu at R495 (approx. $30 USD). However it was the worst dish of the day, it was very tough. He chewed and chewed and chewed. He had to spit out several bites as they were gristle. It was not very nice, the waiter noticed the chewed bits on the side of the plate and asked ‘was it chewy’ as if he expected that feedback. I assume since he ate the bits he could chew no one even popped over to chat and say sorry you spent almost R500 on half a plate of gristle which was a bit sad. Being wagyu it had plenty of flavour, but you need to be able to consume it.

We both felt we could still manage dessert and ordered 2 of their ice cream sandwiches but Mike, our waiter, told us one is enough for us as it is ‘in two pieces’. It was described as ice cream sandwich with 68% dark Nyangbo chocolate from Ghana, sesame parfait, blood orange marmalade. It was R165 (approx. $10 USD). I did not like the taste of this at all and was thankful to Mike we had not ordered two of them. I do not like dark chocolate or orange and it was intensely both. Norm loved it so it did not go to waste.

When Mike brought the bill a server brought over complimentary cones stuffed with caramel in the bottom of the wafer. This was divine!!! He forgot to take the R600 deposit off of our bill but Norm noticed and sent it back to be corrected. I wonder what would have happened if we did not notice? Would it go in the tip jar or would the venue refund us?

We finished off with one of the best coffees I have ever had in my life. I must find out the brand of their coffee!! We had a lovely day with great food and lovely weather. There were a few things that could have been improved, the long wait then the pile up of dishes, the tough R500 steak…..but we still give it 4 Kitten Stars for ambience and the prawns if nothing else. We will definitely go back. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

That morning Norm gave me some beautiful flowers. He always leaves me with fresh flowers so I feel loved when he is away.

Norm’s flight was Sunday morning. I came downstairs and saw him off and then I spent time in the garden. My long feral nails are not suited for gardening. I chopped all of them off on that hand I now have one long nailed hand and one short nailed hand.

I treated Norm and I to some candy coated eggs in the order from Babylonstoren so I had some treats to nibble on Easter.

I sat outside at the back eating eggs and watching the birds eating seeds and the lizards lizarding.

It was perfect weather, cool with a tiny breath of wind. It was a gorgeous day. My kids kept sending videos of the babies searching for easter eggs, painting and running around excitedly. On Monday they took the kids to a market which had a little Easter walk set up which the kids loved. It is so wonderful to see them forming bonds that will hopefully last a life time.

I ordered a grocery delivery for Monday morning due to arrive any time from 8-11am. I woke at 6am, had a wee and dropped back off to sleep. I woke at 9am to the dogs going insane. I looked at my messages and saw the groceries were on their way. I got out of bed, threw on clothes and forced Poppy to run down the stairs on her own instead of me carrying her because I had not time to faff about and I had too many things in my hands. She normally has to be carried up at night and down in the morning. When you try to pick her up she runs under the bed or around the room like a lunatic. I was not having it. I put her on the first step and gave her a gentle nudge and she reluctantly went down one, then two, then she seemed to realise she would survive and ran down the rest excitedly.

The delivery drivers were just arriving by the time I let the dogs out to pee and got myself out of the house. I got everything unpacked and I had a coffee and a pastry outside. Suddenly it started gently raining. It was sheer perfection.

I had ordered chicken breasts because when I placed the order I fancied a curry, but the night before my delivery I had ordered a curry from the local take away. I was not curried out and carried on with my original plan. I had seen a food page where the lady converted challenging recipes to be ‘disability friendly’. I do not know if that is her term or not and I cannot find her page. She would just put the whole pack of chicken breasts in the slow cooker without cutting them up. That is what I struggle with – touching raw meat. I can wash it, just not butcher it. So I got out the crock pot and I put in 4 chicken breasts and 2 different ready made curry sauces – one spicy, one mild. I let it simmer for a few hours then I took two forks and lightly shredded the chicken. So easy and no handling of raw chicken except under running water. It is not photogenic as it looks like a velociraptor clawed the meat apart but it tastes just fine.

On Tuesday I booked an appointment to get a pedicure at Sorbet. I arrived and Busi was assigned to do my feet. I had also booked a treatment for my heels. Busi put on the patches which ‘melt’ the dead skin and then wrapped my feet up in plastic wrap. She left them wrapped while she removed my old polish and groomed my toes. When Busi removed the wraps she scraped off enough skin to mold into a small rough textured baby. I will now get into a routine to do my feet every month and hopefully it will not be such labour for poor Busi.

Busi did a great job and I am already booked to go back in a month’s time.

That night I went through the shopping in the fridge to check the expiration dates. When you order online they seem to try and clear old stock. I had several things that needed to be cooked. I ended up with a weird combo but it was tasty. I had cheese croquettes, chicken wings, potato cubes (layers of fluffy sliced potato) and beetroot.

On Wednesday it got incredibly hot. I saw it hit 32℃ by midday. It only cooled off at about 8pm. I was happy to have my desk fan while working but I was leading a workshop and attending meetings in the afternoon and could not hear with the fan on so I had to sweat it out. My workshop went well and I got lots of info regarding what I need to document. I love making progress and being busy!

That evening I did not want to put the oven on because it was just too hot. I had sesame chicken strips for the air fryer, I had prepared mash for the microwave, I had baby broccoli which I also microwaved, the gravy was instant so I used the kettle and my cute little pitcher. The beetroot was prepared and just needed a spoon. As they say – fed is best and Sweat is Blech. (I made up the last part).

Thursday the weather was once again unbelievably hot. I showered and washed my hair but I sweated so much in the 30 degree heat it was a bit pointless. The groomers came and gave both dogs a wash and brush. That was the only reason I did not open the pool for us both, I did not want to deal with Finn and his wetness on the furniture and floors.

That afternoon I received some plants that I ordered. They were wrapped up in some creative ways. Several still got damaged. Then I knocked one off of the bench and broke it.

That night I looked outside when I was locking up the windows and doors and Mr Leopard Toad was back. He is so tiny. I added the new pic to the old one so you can view him from front and back! I am kind like that.

On Friday it was again incredibly hot but we did have an occasional breeze coming through. The air even caught a bit of a chill late in the afternoon. I let Finn have a swim since Kim was here cleaning the pool and it was open anyway.

I had a delivery of some clothes I had bought in the sales. One dress still had the security tag on it so I will have to go into the shop which annoys me. One of the dresses was so sheer that you could see straight through it. Both will need to go to Truworths. But from a different site I ordered this shirt which arrived the same day and the happiness it elicits covers all the pain induced by Truworths. Norm called the animals reindeer but I told him they are jackalopes of course! It is lightweight and should be cool to wear.

Norm arrived home yesterday afternoon after a week in Zimbabwe. The dogs went mad when he arrived. It is such a relief to have his support and his energy around the house. I did well on my own, I was cooking for the first few days but then I got severely dysregulated first thing on Thursday morning and I was back to surviving on crisps and biscuits until he got home and I calmed down. He brought me a fridge magnet and a lovely little handbag. It is great for shopping or markets when you need to keep everything close to your body and it will fit nicely in my carry on when I travel. I love the design, he knows my taste so well.

Last week I mentioned ‘limerence’ and for those of you who do not understand the difference between limerence and love, this is a very good diagram showing how they differ and how they cross over. Everyone knows my love of the Venn! As I discussed in my last blog, I was obsessed with that man in that relationship. It was at a really traumatic period of my life and I think I was using him as an alternative to focusing on what was really going on in my life. If I focused too hard on that painful thing that was happening it would have broken me and I could not have gone on. Our brains know what we can handle and what we cannot and they often throw in diversions to save us from that pain.

I have been reading stories of women in history who are most often not commonly known names. The running theme in most of the stories is the oppression of their power or fear of exposure. Women who fought against the patriarchy and the idea that they should be content to be housewives. Women who were far more intelligent than the man that their family bound them to. Women who were treated poorly and even kept as chattel. Women who still managed to become educated when it was forbidden. There are so many women who were brilliant and spirited and society could not cope with it so they punished or banished them. In extreme cases they gave them a lobotomy to make them completely compliant. This happened to women who lived within some of our lifetimes, not the dark ages. I have written about it here.

In my previous post I discuss the lobotomy of Rosemary Kennedy at 23 years of age in order to avoid embarrassment of her family. The fact that the female Kennedy who acted on her sexual drives was punished, yet the male Kennedys who slept around outside of their marriages (and are rumoured to have killed the great Marilyn) were celebrated as naughty, cheeky, full of the blarney, charmers is not lost on me. Those cheeky chaps even became President, but by today’s standards the bar on that job is so low as to be in the 10th ring of Hell.

Throughout history, women who were too angry, too sexual, too ambitious, too defiant, too intelligent, too crafty have been diagnosed as hysterical, neurotic, manic, borderline, difficult or unmanageable. Diagnosing women who challenge power is one of the most effective ways to maintain that power. Many brilliant women spent the end of their lives locked away where they could not challenge the authority of their fathers, their husbands, or society.

I think about how many times I have had my own breakdowns. Years ago, I would most likely have been one of those women who was punished for challenging the ownership and authority of my husband. Then after you have been deemed ‘mentally disturbed’ in any official capacity, everything you do is viewed through the lens of that diagnosis. You are not angry you are aggressive, not upset but hysterical, not sad but depressed.

I remember being in such mental pain that I wanted to commit suicide so badly, but I was afraid I would mess that up too, and as we were still married, I might end up in a vegetative state, in the care of my first husband. Luckily, that fear was enough to outweigh those desires to end my life. How did I not recognise my autism when I was so depressed yet still so busy over-thinking and planning?

Now I have a man who is so supportive of me. He can almost always find the key to calm me down when I am dysregulated. He knows when I need attention and when I need to be left alone. He knows when my blood sugar is low and I need to eat. He even knows that sometimes when I am stuck in an obsessive loop that he just needs to agree with me for a bit. I am so thankful that I have found the man who was meant for me and that he understands me so well. That is often the key to success in any relationship – understanding.

I am spending the weekend pottering around the garden sorting my new plants. The Two Oceans Marathon is happening this weekend so our roads are all closed until midday. A good excuse to be lazy. Lots of people go down to cheer on the racers and party along the route. I can hear it all from here while drinking an iced coffee in my fairy garden and that is close enough for me. I have missed Norm terribly this trip so I am happy to have him home and to just hang out together doing our own thing.

I hope you all have a wonderful week ahead. Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxox