This week my Rabbit Hole was nature vs nurture. You know how you can say he is an extrovert or an introvert? She is socially awkward or she is this or that in comparison to their partner, regarding “opposites attract”. I think for a relationship to work you have to have some polarity and some alignment, the challenge is making sure that these measurement areas are something both of you can tolerate.

I’m an Outside Person. I always choose to sit outside, assuming I’ve a spot out of the sun and wind. Despite my dark hair and skin I try to stay out of the sun for health reasons. As a child I was always outside and very tanned.

Norm is an Inside Person. He is by nature vaguely gingerish, as in very freckly skinned. Growing up in Scotland they were probably inside most of the year, so the nature drives the nurture in this instance. He loves a brisk winter walk but he will not just sit about, he is not a ‘sit about’ type of person.

Meanwhile, I grew up in the heat of rural North Georgia. We were always lounging on my grandmother’s back porch. This photo was taken in 1990 when Caitlin, Trevor & I stopped in on our way from Los Angeles to South Africa. This was when I was expecting Lily and we were moving to SA permanently. We were staying with various family members this visit but as always we are languishing in the heat on the back porch. That is my Caitlin going down the steps.

In this instance family history drives my love of lounging outside.

But the weather also drives how a person moves. Think of the slow seductive movements of Elizabeth Taylor in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof’. It is hot, we move slow.

I always try to get Norm to sit outside with me and he finally did on a few evenings this week. He seemed to enjoy it but you can tell he is not as into it as I am. I love the sounds, the warm caress of the air on your skin, and even the smells of the African evening. He is just sitting agitatedly peering around suspiciously, looking for mosquitos.

We are very different people in most ways. I am anxious, he is calm. I am loud, he is soft spoken. I laugh a lot, he occasionally has a wee grin. He balances me out and I keep him from dying of boredom. Whatever it is, it works.

Today I was listening to the song I have posted before which I am still obsessed with, GIVĒON – Dancing In The Smoke. Here are the lyrics – tell me if you agree that it is about a female to male domestic violence relationship. Burning the pictures – yep that is a common one and was done to me. I lost many of my photographs. Slashing of tires/tyres? Other damaging of the car. It seems to be one of those ‘can’t live without her / can’t live with her’ situations.

But the lyric: “Don’t see eye to eye, but we’re nose to nose tonight” is pretty powerful isn’t it? We have all been there!

On Monday we smelled smoke strongly. We then saw that there was another fire in the township, this one up high and very near our house. While we were in the US there were loads of families made homeless due to a fire in the same township. Luckily the fire squads managed to hit this one quick and extinguish it and the panic was over.

Then again on Wednesday we heard a report of another fire in the valley.

This one was massive and there were multiple helicopters assigned to extinguish it. Then we heard there was another fire later in the afternoon. The first fire of the day was in Hout Bay. The fire spread up the mountain-side towards Ruyteplaats and Llandudno. Then later that afternoon a fire broke out in Camps Bay.

We could see the choppers from our porch and they made a hell of a noise.

The dogs were keenly observant of them.

It was crazy hot on Monday so I opted for sushi and prawn tempura. I pull off the seaweed which wraps the prawn roses so do not blame the sushi maker for the chaos on my plate.

On Wednesday evening Norm had a meeting and I needed to order something I knew he would like so I ordered philly cheese steaks from Render Smokehouse, a local food truck with amazing BBQ pork, beef and chicken. I loved them!!

Another night I was craving ribs badly so I ordered from Render again! This time I skipped the chips and just ordered onion rings. Their ribs are as good as everything else I have tried from there.

We are so lucky to be in such a small town but to have so many options for takeaways.

Norm’s speciality is steak and last night he cooked fillet steak and halloumi and I made a salad. It is always a hit on a hot night and it has continued to be hot all week long.

I wanted to sit outside but it was still too warm.

This week I was talking about tolerance of challenging situations. Some people can bravely approach a challenge chest out & face first, some approach a challenge by disassociating and not dealing with it at all, and some are terrified but just bareknuckle through the changes that are forced upon them. For me personally, knowing the timelines helps me to cope. It makes it easier to tolerate if I can say ‘This is the worst it will be, it will only get better from here’ and then hopefully start to see an improvement. I do not cope with open ended situations when I have no clue how long until things are resolved. I was watching a house renovation show when I heard that phrase and I thought it applied to so many situations where we are faced with changes or challenges.

I think this is why I have managed to stay employed with the same company for 19 years. I know that whatever work I am doing is usually a short term contract and that if I hate anything about that particular project, then I will only have to endure it for a pre-determined period of time. Conversely, this is how I managed to stay employed with the same company (yes I know I said the same thing twice so it is not ‘conversely’) knowing that the people who employ me are generally on the periphery of my life, they tell me what to deliver and leave me to get on with it, but are there to help me if I am struggling. If the client is the thorn in my side they are also temporary. If I am very happy there the client may end up extending my contract. But it is my happiness that drives the relationship so I am happy to stay longer. But not having a billable client for months is getting me down. I started investigation of a new tool and process this week which is pretty interesting and hopefully leads to a client project.

I have been pottering in my garden this week once it cools down in the late afternoons. How cute is this tiny, weird, little snail?

I received some new little miniatures which I distributed throughout the garden. I put out these little Buddhas. I spoke blessings over them and spoke intentions into them to protect my garden and home and to bring peace and love to our family.

I then placed them all over the garden. They kind of look like chopped off big toes.

I did the same with the little bunnies. I mean that I placed them around the garden, I did not speak intentions into all of them as they are bunnies, not symbols of prayer.

However, I did set a little intention prayer with one of them and my ‘Believe’ fairy door.

I just made little displays with the rest of the bunnies.

I can fill an entire evening or a whole weekend messing about in my fairy garden and repotting my plants. If I am ever stressed I just have to put my hands into mother earth and it calms me. Not much delights me more than finding some sort of receptacle I can use as a plant pot.

Caitlin had the day off of work on Thursday so she was taking Bree to the riding centre down the road from me in Hout Bay as it has lots of activities and sights for toddlers. Caitlin picked me up and I went with them for an hour or so. It was incredibly hot so I wore a cool dress and a hat for shade.

Bree was fascinated with the feather in my hat but she would look at my handbag and hat on the table, then look at me, then shake her head ‘No!’ and not touch either of them. She is a funny wee soul. She was getting so excited by the animals and would do this funny squat and point move. I am not sure what it was supposed to represent other than pure excitement. She kept saying ‘WOW!’ every time she saw anything new, and there was plenty for a person of her size to see! She saw pigs, a pony, chickens, love birds, goats, turkeys, all sorts of things. She was not sure about the chickens as they were almost her size and the rooster was obnoxiously loud.

There is a little cafe there and we sat on comfy sofas in the shade. We were right next to the play area which had rocking horses and a sandbox with a climbing frame over it. I had an iced coffee and Caitlin had a cappuccino while Bree ate some grapes and an apple. Caitlin pushed Bree in the swing which she loved. Bree danced around and munched on her fruit and had a good time. Caitlin was saying it may only be an hour or so activity but it gets them out of the house and to Bree it can be a real excursion. As I am working these short visits suit me perfectly. Later in the afternoon Caitlin took Bree to the beach and I got on with work.

Amelia has taken to being a big sister like a duck to water. She proudly pushes her brother in the pram to drop her off at school. She is in the 3 year old class but she will only be 3 in July.

This morning the builders arrived. We are going to have the outside playroom leak worked on this week and I cannot wait to decorate that room and be able to say we have renovated the entire house. I am looking at cute curtains and rugs for in there as well as a storage unit for the toys. I love a project! I also look forward to when Lily can travel with her two and I can have them here with Bree, all 3 of my delights under one roof playing and swimming. The most important manifestation of all.

I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend and your week ahead and that all of your intentions manifest into reality. Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxox