I had a very interesting experience last Saturday which I have taken a few days to absorb. I had a ‘Healing’ session with a woman who advertised “As part of my training, I’m offering free healing sessions to those who seek healing and insight and are called to transform their lives through inner healing and spiritual growth.” She offered it on a women’s group as free so I figured I had nothing to lose and might actually gain a lot! I shall call her ‘K’, we met at 4pm online via Zoom for the first time and she then introduced herself to me. K told me about her background and that she was raised as a Christian and that she would touch on religious phrases and topics in her prayers even though it has no affiliation with the church and was that okay with me. I have no religious trauma so it was fine with me. She asked if I minded if she opened with a prayer of protection. I said that is also fine. K then asked for my parent’s names and my grandparent’s names from both lineages.

K asked me to close my eyes and led us in a prayer of protection. She called in my ancestors and then hers all by name and she asked for their help and for my ‘Higher Self’ / ‘I Am’ to connect with ‘her’.

She connected to me and she said my ‘head’/’mind’ is incredibly fragmented. My mind is full of different ‘Lisas’. I have written about this before so many times, I am incredibly aware of these different Lisas so as much as that phrase amazed me it felt incredibly comfortable. I know that due to ADHD my brain is chaotic.

K said that she sees that I do not sleep. She said that my spirit guides /ancestors are trying to communicate with me in my dream state, but I am not going into a deep enough sleep to go into that phase. She said that I really need to sort that out. Since then I have not taken my tablets for sleep and have slept fine so I will stop unless I need them. I am far less groggy in the mornings, but I still wake around 5-6am and then cannot get back to sleep, but my whole life I have slept on average 5-6 hours a night.

K said that my heart was wounded. K saw a huge spiritual blockage in my heart. At first I thought she was predicting something health wise with my heart and as 2 people I care a lot about are both recovering from heart surgery, I felt a bit startled but then she said “no, no, no,” she does not “see my ‘physical body‘ just my ‘spiritual body‘” and there is a lot of pain there.

She said that she was seeing a white fluffy wolf and I mentioned that I studied the Path of the White Wolf. K said that was not what she was seeing and asked if I had a dog and I said yes I have a huge white dog that looks like a wolf. She asked about his health and I said he is very healthy. She then said do we have a smaller white dog and I said yes. She said ‘he has a lot of health issues’ and he is saying that he stays around because he thinks we need him but that he is very tired. I told her that as long as he seemed to be living a good life, even with his coughing, we will do what we can to support him.

She then said that she sees a spiritual blockage in my womb. She asked if I had lost a child and I told her yes I had lost a child before I fell pregnant with my son. She said that I need to do a ceremony to mourn for that child. She said she saw a lot of ‘humiliation’ when I was young. The next day it hit me that it was a language difference, K meant ‘shame’. That resonated with me from my sexual abuse as a child. She said that even though it was not my fault that I carried shame. She said that I must let go of my need for other people to believe me about it, that I know it happened and I must get the healing for myself and my children and grandchildren. The belief I have been taught is that you think about 7 generations as everything you do affects the 7 generations below you and everything your ancestors did can affect the next 7 generations.

With that in mind she told me of a racial debt I carry about my ancestor being killed by his farm workers. That part is true, Norm found this in my family history. A newspaper article explained that a relative on my father’s side was killed by “his slaves” (I hate that terminology or the implication that a human can actually have ownership over another human). So that resonated too.

K said that the people who were captured and indentured in the US were very close to the African cultures and that my father’s line was cursed by the people my ancestor mistreated. She said there is a lot of blood and murder on my father’s lineage.

I know that all of the men in my father’s lineage have died by the age of 50. My first cousin (my father’s sister’s child) was shot in the face by her policeman husband but survived. I have had a helluva lot of trauma. It made me think!

Interestingly she said she saw no Indigenous relatives, only European. Is that because the trauma is related to the European branch or do I not have any indigenous relatives and the family stories of my Cherokee grandmothers is just that? A story?

She said that I need to address my fragmentation quite urgently. She said I also need to go for ancestral clearing for the curses on my family line.

She gave me a ritual to do for honouring and mourning the baby I lost which will also help with the womb healing. I still have not done the ritual the Life Coach gave me regarding the trauma from my first marriage, so maybe I need to combine them.

I believe that many of the things she saw was correct and resonated with me. But some of these things I told her in the questionaire.

Another point is that these are the lists of her offerings: ‘Father and Mother Wounds‘, ‘Inner Child Wounds‘, ‘Womb Healing‘, and ‘Ancestral Healing‘. Do you sense a theme that aligns with my traumas?

Maybe I am just a Cynical Kitten?

Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxxo