I had expected to tell you all about my solo vision last Sunday but we were asked to sit with it all for a few weeks before we share so I will just give you some generic info.
As we were fasting we were only allowed water, and we could not leave our ‘nest’ so when we finished sitting, I was desperate for a wee. I shuffled off into the bushes and found a relatively remote spot, went to squat down on my haunches like a kid, only to hit the limit of my inflexible knee cap and tumble over in agony due to the intense pain. I fell hard on my backside and rolled over with my arse out. How dignified in my attempts to commune with the universe.
Both knees were really hurting badly and I thought I had done some major damage to myself so I gingerly moved about then stood. My left kneecap was throbbing but as I always have pain in my kneecaps I hoped it was not damaged structurally and I awkwardly half stood and peed like a sensible geriatric should.
We finished our ceremony and had a shared lunch and we then stood in a circle holding hands, ending our day with closing prayers. When our wonderful teacher Rev Tass Two Crows Flying showed us her new tattoo to represent her Medicine Name she said that our names are sacred and that she knows her own name is so huge that she could never live up to it.
The very second the words left Tass’ mouth a huge crow in the field answered back a loud squawk disputing her words and informing her she is indeed living up to her medicine name. If I had not been there to see and hear it myself, I never would have believed it. It was uncanny and pure magic.
By the time I got to bed that evening all of my injuries had started to throb and I could not longer bend my left knee into without a lot of pain. I had no pain meds but I took some oral CBD oil and I rubbed CBD ointment all over my knees, went to bed, prayed for help and slept like the dead for exactly 8 hours. When I woke I moved cautiously and could feel the swelling had gone down considerably. When I stood I felt more stable.
I knew someone very powerful had been praying for me or sending me healing. I asked my friend Kelly if it was her and she said she had sent me reiki. She lives in California so that is some powerful juju! I could tell it was from prayer, I could feel it. She told me I had also injured my shoulder but that pain did not exhibit until later that day. She also told me I need a chiropractor once the swelling has subsided. (She is right on all counts.)
The swelling was mostly gone by Wednesday but I still could not bend the left knee. The right knee definitely feels a bit unstable when I initially stand but it settles after I walk a bit. It feels like it is landing in the wrong position which makes me think posterior ligament issues.
My friends suggested castor oil and mustard baths. It makes me sound like a salad in need of dressing. So, on Wednesday I ordered some castor oil and mustard salts from Faithful to Nature. They have a same day express service for an extra R30. I have been rubbing my knees liberally with the castor oil as it is supposed to draw out inflammation. I have not had a mustard bath yet as I have no one here if there are issues with me in the bath or with the animals etc.
Finn has been going to Doggy Day Care every day with Mike who runs Dogs Unlimited in Hout Bay. Mike collects him as I cannot drive Norm’s little truck even when my knees are functioning properly and especially not at the moment. Finn has an absolutely fabulous time, comes home starving and exhausted. He has a bowl of kibble, crashes and staggers up to bed obediently with none of the nonsense he usually gives Norm. Probably Finnie knows I will not put up with it. But I really recommend Dogs Unlimited as an outlet for a physically active dog or a dog who needs extra stimulation. Send them there a few days a week and the exhaustion lasts for a good 24 hours!
He loves going on walks in new areas he has never explored.
I have mentioned before what a Romeo he is, this is his latest favourite lady friend Rosie the lab.
He was so sad when Mike dropped him off every day, he just stood and howled.
I am so happy we discovered a solution for him when Norm is away!
I received a message from the Universe which said “What if the word victim could be redefined into something closer to hero?” I do think that in a lot of instances the fact you survive something which is incredibly traumatic makes you a hero of sorts. You can be a hero JUST for surviving. Just for waking up each day and getting out of bed. If you can manage to hold down a job and function at full volume, then I think you are especially heroic if you have arisen, Phoenix-like from a figurative bed of ashes like I have.
It is all about how we frame it.
On Wednesday it was again a misty dreary day. I was sitting on my patio thinking about my grandmother and how she never had a childhood because when her parents died she was put to work in a cotton mill to earn her keep. This was common place and unremarkable except for the fact that she was only 6 years old. Can you imagine being 6 years old and being a breadwinner? I know she always felt such shame that she was illiterate. I wish I had asked more about her childhood and recorded her stories, I am so sad that history is lost. I was thinking about what a struggle she had in her life and I simply said ‘Grandma I am so sorry for what you had to suffer as a child, I love you’. I also asked her to please come back as one of my grandchildren if the timing is right.
A few minutes later I heard a loud song from this beautiful black and white bird. Next thing I know he flies up right in front of where I am sitting and and hovers in mid air right in front of me, looked me dead in the eye and flew off.
I messaged my shaman group to tell them about it and they identified the bird as a Flycatcher.
Another of them sent me the link to the spirit messages and symbolism for it. This caught my eye – my gran often uses birds to communicate with me.
I hear you my darling grandmother. I lit a candle on my ancestor’s altar for her.
Yesterday was a gorgeous day and I had high hopes for the weather this weekend.
However we woke to rain again this morning.
It is a three day weekend as we are off on Monday. This morning I was up early as I had another facial. I have been using the serum I received with the last facial and my skin is starting to feel much better. I also received two free gifts with today’s facial, a cleanser and a moisturizer. A friend is possibly popping around for coffee today. Tomorrow we have drumming rehearsal, I do not know how my knees and back will hold up but I am willing to give it a go. Monday I may just have a lazy movie day, I will decide based on our unpredictable weather.
This week I sent a contact request to the Neurodiversity Centre in SA. I have decided to get my meds evaluated as I do a lot of self medicating and maybe my actual anxiety / depression medications should rather be adjusted. I do not know. I just know that the more I read about the characteristics and behaviors, the more I find that I identify with so I would like to have a proper diagnosis. I identify with various things related to ADHD, Bipolar, Autism and Depression so maybe it is a special little soupçon of something-something, unique to me, but who knows. But I want to know. I have my evaluation next Friday.
I hope you have all had a lovely week and until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxxo
Kitten in the City 