I keep seeing people posting threads about ‘what weird thing did you do as a kid you thought was ‘normal’ but was absolutely due to neurodiversity‘? So many things I have not thought about in years are bubbling up to the surface. I am trying to be like water and imagine my mermaid self , the bubbles floating up in front of me, looking at their contents for a bit and then watching them dissipate. I am trying not to hold on to anything, to just be liquid and let it flow.

I’ve made an appointment with my therapist at the Neurodiversity Centre to discuss her providing a letter to cover the work accommodations I require for my Autism, mainly a quiet place with no bright lights where I do not need to have transport into the city as I do not drive very often. I hope the letter removes my stress around work putting pressure on me to go into an office if it is documented as a medical requirement.

I spent the week in my bedroom with the animals due to renovations in the house. I did have the balcony to spend time on if I felt too claustrophobic. I have the most amazing view and can sit and stare at the mountains for hours on end.

Norm went out every day to get us lunch. I only like tuna in a commercially prepared sandwich and I only like some tuna. The Spar puts celery in their tuna. Such savages. I inadvertently discovered the most amazing tuna sandwich from Woolies, with a dense farmhouse bread and a sort of slaw mixed in. It does not contain the offensive celery but it does contain the divine cilantro, see how personal simple tuna can get?? Every day Norm popped out to the same shop and got the same sandwich and a pack of salt and vinegar crisps. Every day he said ‘do you want the same as yesterday??’, and every day I said ‘yes, yes I do!’. I shall not be shamed out of being my weird little self.

It made me remember when I worked in Johannesburg as a Radiographer and I had a tuna on white bread with salt and vinegar crisps every day. I always take a bite of sandwich and insert a crisp into my mouth at the same time. I cannot take the sog and this makes it crispy. I did the same thing then.

The Xhosa ladies who worked there watched me avidly with a smile, chattering about my lunch in Xhosa. Finally one day I got up the nerve to ask them what they were saying and they laughed and said that I “ate the same thing, the same way every single day”. I wondered why anyone was watching me eat. I’ve always had a thing about people watching me eat. I remember being young and hot and sitting in a restaurant with some creep staring at me. I would wait until no one else was looking then flash him a mouthful of chewed food. It put them right off. Don’t try to creep me out, I will call you out or out creep you in a creepier way.

I was thinking that sometimes I have realisations and I think it is a bit of the same feeling of slight shame you get the day following a blackout drunk binge. You suddenly remember something and you think ‘oh that makes sense now’ except the realisation does not come when you sober up, it comes post diagnosis, sometimes years later.

I think about people hinting for me to leave at the end of the night when I was at their house visiting, I was very bad at reading those signals. I think about guys I dated when single who were not at all into me but I stuck to them like a limpet and they tolerated me. Conversely I think about people who may have been in love with me but I did not see it. Or I realise when people were laughing at something I had done or said, that they were not laughing with me but rather at me. I often miss neurotypical humour.

Work is picking up after being on the bench for a bit. I am being put onto a temporary project where I do a ‘discovery’ and document their ‘as is’ solution.

This week I did a project plan for a different client for a piece of work which would keep me busy until year end. I have to negotiate this as I will be in the USA in December, then in George for my grandson’s birth in January. I will be needed to look after Lily and Amelia to allow Lily to look after new baba.

Norm is now off to the UK for a few days. We have a dog walker who will take Finn out. The house is very bare as we are keeping everything packed away until the floors are completed but I can manage with the set up we have temporarily.

Once Norm gets back, I am then going to George on the day before the guys start laying the floors and return the day after we can walk on it again. I love that I get to spend the time with Amelia, Lily and Josh and that I get to see Lily’s belly.

The builders did such a great job, I love the new bathroom and the painted walls look the business.

Norm also had a structural engineer from By Design, a company from Stellenbosch in last Monday. His team drilled holes in the floor and pumped a mix of concrete into them until the floor was ‘full’. Here is their description of the process. Our house devoured loads and loads, basically 0.864 square meters of ‘grout’ as they refer to it and the floor was raised 5mms.

The builders then filled the holes they left so we are prepared for the floor team.

Once the floors are resurfaced it will just look so wonderful. This is an example of the colour and type of flooring, it is called marble screed, the colour is Mr Gray. It will look so amazing. Some of it almost looks like art.

I ordered the mirror for the powder room this week. It is circular and a chalky white frame with a light design around the edges. It will be delivered to a shop, not my house so I may have to go and collect it myself. Scary thought. I may have to park a mile away and walk because it is in a very busy part of town and I cannot parallel park.

Once we can walk on the floor the builder comes back to install the new toilet and hang the new mirror in the powder room, as well as install the skirting boards around the entire downstairs. He is also enclosing the under stairs areas so we can use it for storage.

Then everything should be finished from September 15th or 16th and when I arrive back from my trip to George, it should all be done. I cannot wait to see the furniture in place and the art back up on the walls. We have to reimagine where to place all of the art as they removed all of our nails and replastered the holes. Usually if you buy new art you have to squeeze things in where you can find a spot on the walls, so it is nice to start all over with no constraints. We have a lot of large paintings. I collect several artists and I have some African masks I want to go back up. It is so exciting to think and plan and imagine.

Yesterday the builders were gone and we were able to work from our desks and move about as normal. We were so exhausted from it all we just snuggled up with the beasties and watched a bit of telly. I think I was asleep by 8pm!

This week I saw the strangest thing. While sitting upstairs on the balcony outside the bedrooms I watched a Southern Boubou chase a beautiful little iridescent Greater Double Collared Sunbird into the weeping red bottlebrush tree across the pool and then chase it into the tree on the other side of the garden. Then a whole flock of sunbirds all flew into the tree and hovered around the boubou until he flew off. The size difference between them is one thing, but the boubou is a shrike and loves him a bit of meat or eggs, so possibly was going for a wee sunbird for his tea!!! It proves that enough Little People can collectively make a difference against the Big Guy. Rah. Rah.

Remember how I asked the universe to send me a Ladies Circle? I am going to one this afternoon, right up the road, at the home of a lady the same age as I am! It is exactly what I asked the universe for so I am very excited in hopes that I get on with the other ladies. I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea, so let’s hope there are some coffee drinkers there.

Until next time, Kisses from the Kitten xoxoxoxo