The RBF Empath

I have always thought I was afflicted by RBF (Resting Bitch Face) because I often get told to ‘smile’ or to ‘cheer up it might never happen’ by random people on the streets.


But on the other hand I am often the receptacle of people vomiting their feelings, life history and baggage all over me with no provocation. This week I asked a colleague why does this happen after I spent about 10 minutes trapped in the kitchen at work listening to a random stranger tell me all about her issues with her weight, her divorce, her kids, her kids’ friends, her therapy……all I said to instigate this regurgitation was ‘so you are making a smoothy?’ and the flood gates were open and she was off.

My colleague says it is not my face repelling them, it is my energy welcoming them, that I am so open it allows people to feel that they can open up or get close to me. Maybe I need to learn how to shut that gate, or maybe this is what I am meant to be – an emotional dumping ground of sorts? People need to be heard and people need to get things off their chests. The only time it is really an issue is when the person dumping on you is also draining your own energy. I call these people ’emotional vampires’ as they end up sucking all of the life force out of you and filling the empty space with their darkness. I tend to avoid these people or to cover myself with spiritual protection if I know I will have to be around them.

Then another friend reminded me that I am an empath. People are drawn to an empath, what the hook is I am still not clear on – what do they see?

As a Virgo I cannot sit and listen quietly to issues, I have to tell them how to fix their problem. Or maybe it is not my Virgoness but rather the increase in testosterone brought on by Menopause? You know how men cannot just receive info, they have to fix it?

Who knows. So many of us are so damaged by life.

This week has flown by in a blink of an eye! Maybe it was because in SA we were all on a post march high. Social media was full of protest pictures and I was so pleased by the vast turn out across the entire country. The best photo I saw of the protest march was the pic below by Peter Greenwall that was shared on Facebook. This image sums up Cape Town to me, all races and religions in unity against a common cause.

President Zuma as always seemed to miss the point of the protests or at least to pretend to in order to convince his more naïve constituents that they are in danger of apartheid rearing it’s head again. He tried to say that the march was a racist protest. He obviously missed seeing all of the images on social media and the news which disproved his statements, or he blatantly chose to ignore the truth. Even with just a 6th grade education, he could have just looked at the pictures in the newspapers?

zuma protest

But life goes on and corruption thrives.

As always, despite it being Saturday I woke up really ridiculously early, partly due to the intense heat. I dared to venture out of bed to have a wee and was greeted by this when I got back to bed. Cheeky little monkeys.

I had an appointment early on Saturday to get the colour on my roots topped up at Mop Hair. Our house is always rife with chaos and noise on a Saturday due to the dogs barking insanely at every car, cat or gardener who dares navigate up or down our road, or at every leaf drifting around the garden. They were so boisterous I decided to leave half an hour early and sit on the salon sofa reading magazines and sipping cappuccino rather than listen to them. I tootled off and left Norm to deal with the little buggers.

When I got home I was ravenous and the smell of bacon came wafting out to the garage to greet me. My darling hubby had made breakfast for him and Mzudumo and he quickly whipped some up for me too when I got in.

I am such a lucky woman. ❤

That evening it was still so incredibly hot and humid so we decided to go out for dinner somewhere that we could sit outside. We decided to have dinner at The Lookout Deck in Hout Bay at the harbour.


We nabbed a table under cover with a lovely view of the harbour.

They were having a special on a seafood platter and I thought it sounded delicious so I went for that. It was about R250 if you included the prawns, just under R200 without the prawns. The platter consisted of a whole hake fillet, mussels in sauce, fried calamari and either rice or chips.

Norm decided on the grilled Calamari and as he is almost always virtuous in his food choices, he had it with veggies.

We did not have a terribly late night out, we were home in time to relax at home with the pups. We still stayed up far too late just pottering around.

I woke on Sunday starving as always after I have eaten sugar the night before. I also had a Kahlua dom pedro after my dinner so I had carbs and sugar both. Oops.

I drafted Norm to do a shop and Caitlin came to help me cook. I was craving Eggs Benedict but wanted to stay low carb. Instead of using bread or a muffin we made cheesy zucchini fritters, then topped them with poached eggs, bacon and avocado ‘sauce’.

It was so tasty! I used my egg poaching cups from Yuppiechef.


As usual I did not use a recipe for my fritters, I just ad-libbed. I grated 3 baby zucchinis, added 2 eggs, a big handful of grated cheese and sprinkled with almond flour until it had the right consistency then fried little drops of the batter in coconut oil and butter until golden brown.


We had a relaxing day, I sat out in the garden with the dogs watching them be silly.  Pixie could play ball all day should someone be bothered to chase her down to wrestle it from her mouth. She wants it kicked but does not want to let it go. Sometimes Nav teases her by running off with it, expecting her to give chase.


We were invited to a braai with friends later in the afternoon last Sunday. It was a lovely relaxing evening, despite the cool wind that came up.

Obligatory braai selfy while wearing a dozen layers of clothing:

One of the discussions that we had at the braai was around gender roles. Norm and I do not adhere to gender roles, if anything our roles are almost reversed. I do almost no housework other than the occasional kitchen clean up. It is a running joke in our family that I cannot even turn on the hoover or the washing machine (which is more or less true).

My friend Pierre used to say the most used item in my kitchen was the phone which was used to order take out. 🙂 I do probably cook the majority of our meals, but Norm never has an issue if I say I am tired,  he is always willing to cook or pick up a take away. I never get pressure to conform to what society dictates a woman’s role must be.

I had bought a roast to make for last Sunday’s dinner but as we went to the braai I decided to do a pot roast in the slow cooker overnight while we slept. I chucked in a silverside beef roast, a packet of carrots, a chopped onion and a tin of cream of mushroom soup with 2 cups of beef broth, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

When I got home on Monday I made steamed broccoli and fondant sweet potatoes to go with it.

It was delicious and there was plenty left to make into Mexican food the next night. I shredded the meat, removing all of the fat and icky bits, then added the spices and a bit of water and simmered it all. I made the provolone ‘tortillas’ without baking paper but they did not stick to the tray luckily. There seems to have been some international coup on baking paper as the shops are still empty. I just made salad to go with it and fried some slices of red pepper and onion until brown.

Mexican w roast.png

We have had a few days of intense rain in Cape Town, hopefully this starts to top up our empty dams.

The latest update in regards to the twins Maximo and Octavia who were murdered by their Spanish father when visiting them in Hout Bay on holiday is that he has still not been charged as he has been hospitalised with an abdominal injury.  Rumours are that he harmed himself while in custody.

They have finally published the father’s name and that he is a dentist. His name is Mario-César Deus Yela, and he is said to be 48 years of age.

I still feel such pain in my heart for the mother, Julia Engelhorn, and other family members, there is another sibling who was physically unharmed, however the damage to his heart and soul is unquantifiable. How traumatic for the entire family. I wish them comfort and peace and I hope that justice is served.

They were such beautiful children.

octavia maximo

The work to get our local township back on track from the recent fires continues. Part of Imizamo Yethu was declared a disaster area. Relocation camps are being built to replace tents for hundreds of Hout Bay fire families and temporary housing will finally be available for some people affected by the fire. I hope it happens quickly, living in the tents with hundreds of others must be hell on earth.

Today is my last day of work until next week, I have 4 delicious days of relaxation in store for me. I have a few activities planned, but all in all it is a bit of much needed down time.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend x

One thought on “The RBF Empath

  1. Pingback: Suddenly Winter | Kitten in the City

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